Happy Birth Day, Cassidy!

Happy Birth Day, Cassidy!

There will definitely be a more detailed post later but here are photos from the day Cassidy was born and from the days I spent in the hospital!

Here we are just before leaving for the hospital.  I was NOT looking forward to surgery, I have to admit.

Looking sexy in Triage.  I had an enema shortly after this photo was taken.  Oh yeah, baby.

Big baby girl! 

Cassidy Makenna Spayth

9lbs 2.5 oz

22.5 inches long
(modesty patch in place, of course)

Meeting our baby girl

Already wide eyed!

Squishy

The kids meeting Cassidy for the first time!

I ALMOST didn't post this AWFUL photo of myself because the post-surgery swelling was just terrible.  But, I keeps it real, folks.

First shot together as a family.  I felt horrible.

Being wheeled out WITH a baby for the first time.  Amazing feeling :)

Thank God we kept a carseat from the triplets!

More to come VERY SOON!  There's so much to share!

Almost There

Almost There

Don't worry I'm still pregnant.  No baby yet!  Although there were a couple nights I wasn't so sure that she wasn't going to make an appearance.  But so far it looks like she is going to stay put til Tuesday.

WHICH IS IN LESS THAN TWO DAYS.  HOLY CRAP.

Holy crap I am going to have ANOTHER BABY.  HOLY CRAP.

I don't have much to report (besides HOLY CRAP) but I figured I would post SOMETHING just in case I run out of steam and don't get a post out tomorrow.  Which is Monday.  Which is the day before I am having ANOTHER BABY.  Excuse me, while I go crap my pants.

We've been in high gear getting all our ducks lined up and for some reason it feels like we don't have enough time.  And OF COURSE, we are fine and everything will be fine but Brian and I are very similar in the anxiety/perfectionist/'every single thing has to be checked off the list' way.  So we tend to need to get EVERY SINGLE THING done in order to feel better.  Which is really pretty unrealistic when you have three toddlers, a VERY pregnant woman and a daddy/husband who is already exhausted from the regular routine, much less the added load of the impending birth of his fourth child.  FOURTH.  FOUR CHILDREN.  FOUR CARSEATS.  FOUR SMALL PEOPLE.  FOUR.

I am feeling increasingly more...pregnant.  DUH, right?  But I just don't know what other word to use.  SUPER uncomfortable.  Super tired.  Can't sleep.  My feet HURT and look like baked potatoes.  Or eggplants.  Nothing out of the ordinary for this late in pregnancy.  I am just shy of 38 weeks pregnant.  THAT is something I never thought I would say!

Still, though, I've got nothing to complain about.  This is still easier than last time.  This pregnancy has been a pleasure and a treat.  Like I've mentioned before, I am sad that it will be over soon.  I will always be so grateful for this wonderful surprise opportunity to be a normal pregnant woman!  As tired as I've been, as busy as we are, as overwhelming as it has been to care for three toddlers and still try and take care of my pregnant self - this has been SO AMAZING.  Thank you God!!

We were outside with the kids today and I asked Brian to get one more shot of me and the kids before I pop.  They were so enthusiastic to be forced into a photo, let me tell you ;)

Who cares that no one is looking at the camera and that everyone looks PISSED OFF.

Tomorrow is our last day to get 'ready'.  And by ready, I mean more mentally than anything.  We can busy ourselves with projects and painting and lists, but ultimately we need to just sit down and breathe and let go.  Everything will be done and if it isn't perfect, it will be fine anyway.  I have to keep reminding myself of this :)

I will be taking the computer to the hospital so I can hopefully do a post with an update there.  If I don't do a post before leaving for the hospital then I'll surely have a quickie update (like last time) soon after.  Stay tuned!  And PLEASE KEEP PRAYING!

HOLY CRAP.

37 Weeks!

37 WEEKS!

I hit the 37 week mark this past Monday!  I am FULL TERM!  I have actually fully cooked a baby for the first time in my life.  I am just so excited and grateful.  I truly believed that I would never get this opportunity and I am still pinching myself - what a dream!  I am enjoying this pregnancy so much and I am feeling a little sad that it's almost over.  OK, very sad.  Like it HIT ME the other day and I couldn't stop crying.  OK, I know that's hormones too, but I really am sad that this is coming to an end.  I have truly enjoyed this pregnancy.  That's not to say that it hasn't been challenging or uncomfortable in any way.  But I guess my perspective is that I can't really complain about any of it too much because this is such a gift!  I am nowhere near "DONE".  And BOY do I know what DONE pregnant feels like - I am nowhere near that feeling.  I want to keep her in for much longer. Thankfully, there a wonderful prize at the end, so I think I'll be ok ;)
As far as symptoms/issues are concerned, I surely have them.  Sleep is pretty awful nowadays.  Reflux/heartburn is a constant.  Painful swelling is round the clock.  My hips feel like there are knives digging in to each side.  I have numbness in my hands due to the swelling - nothing like last time though.  It's hard for me to get in and out of bed/car/low chairs/etc.  My belly button is SO SORE.  My pelvic floor is uncomfortable, to say the least.  My girl bits ache.  I am tired all the time.  Trying to chase three 3-year-olds all day long doesn't help! 
I know, it sounds like I am CRAZY for enjoying this!  But really, I am! 
My skin isn't burning/bleeding this time! 
Food tastes amazing this time! 
I don't want to gag at every single thing this time! 
I haven't thrown up in my mouth this time (ewww)! 
I don't feel like my parts are falling out of my body this time! 
I don't feel like I am DYING this time! 
It's all about PERSPECTIVE, people!!! ;)

I had my 37 week appointment on Monday and everyone is still healthy.  I lost a pound, which I was SHOCKED by, considering the fact that I am eating with reckless abandon.  The ice cream consumption is obscene in this house.  Thank goodness that's not all I want.  I wanted to eat an entire bag of broccoli and cauliflower the other day - and I basically did it.  FOOD HAS NEVER TASTED THIS GOOD.  And yes, I have heard it from LOTS OF PEOPLE - I know I am going to have to lose this weight.  I am not freaking out about it.  I am enjoying my pregnancy and the miracle that is happening inside of me.  For the first and only time in my life,  food tastes good and I am allowing myself to eat what I want.  Food issues pushed completely aside for now.  I am comfortable with the way my body looks, rounded and full.  But I am very aware of other women's body image issues as they project them onto me during this pregnancy - very interesting!  Anyway, back to the appointment details!!!
Based on the ultrasound measurements and the fundal height measurements, Dr. Lantry ruled out the already slim possibility of VBAC - this baby is too big!  Given the condition of my uterus and the size of the baby, she will not allow it.  And although I wanted to keep it as a possibility (who wants to recover from surgery with 3 toddlers, a newborn and NO HELP - Brian goes RIGHT back to work the minute I get home from the hospital!!!), I was totally fine when we made the decision.  As it is, she feels confident that the baby is already over 4000grams (8.8lbs) and for 37 weeks gestation, thats ENORMOUS.  I know that there is a large margin of error for these measurements, but it was close enough to err on the side of caution, just to be safe. 

Sooooooo, we scheduled a date -

Bonus Baby will be born January 18th!

Its so strange to have a date - kinda cool!  Last time, my water broke unexpectedly - so although I knew I was close, I was still surprised and overwhelmed.  This time we can plan everything to the minute, which has allowed me to secure childcare for the triplets AND to make sure I have my FAVORITE nurse that day!  Yes, I have a favorite Labor and Delivery nurse - weird, I know, but that's what happens when you live in a hospital on bedrest...you get to know the staff!  It turned out to be quite a blessing and I am so happy she is going to be a part of this birth! :)
 In the meantime, I am trying to get the bare minimum done and still take it easy to minimize the contractions I have been having.  They are definitely real (not just braxton hicks), but very irregular in timing, so nothing to worry about.  They certainly take my breath away now, so I am definitely slower nowadays.  I can't do as much as before, so for a 'go-go-go' person like me, its a huge adjustment.  Brian is really carrying me at home and he is exhausted but we are making it.  I am so grateful for the help I do have, when I have it.  Our dear family friend Megan comes for a few hours once a week so I can go to the doctor - and I can't thank her enough - she is AMAZING.  Another dear friend comes one night a week so Brian and I can sit and eat a meal together and talk like grownups, and I am SO grateful for her generosity. She is the only one who can do our night-night routine! Times like these I really wish for more financial flexibility, just so I could hire someone.  After a day of caring for three toddlers by myself, I am so beyond wiped out and I DREAM of a nanny!  I'd even take one as obnoxious as that one from TV...Fran Drescher?  Who knows.  ;) Anyway, I am managing the best I can and have let pretty much everything go - no problem.  If you've been to my house lately, you can vouch for this! 
I have filled the gaps with friends as far as the week of my c-section.  I have it all scheduled out.  A couple of dear friends are going to provide coverage for the triplets as I will be in the hospital and Brian will be busy juggling being at the hospital with me and taking his shift with the triplets.  The thing I am most freaked about is the time AFTER I come home.  Brian, my mom, my sister - everyone works full time and no one has sick/vacation time or the flexibility to afford to miss any work.  Which means no paternity leave for Brian.  I am on my own, for the most part, during the day.  The thought of caring for 4 kids after abdominal surgery scares me.  We are running TIGHT as it is and if Brian doesn't work, we don't get paid.  I am grateful for his job, nonetheless, especially in light of how rough his company has it right now too - don't forget, in an effort to avoid layoffs, everyone's pay was cut by 10% a few months ago.  Times are tough.  I am grateful he has a job!  I will be collecting some disability but it is less than half of what my pay was, which was basically enough to pay for health insurance.  YES, we have tons of willing helpers for after 5pm, but I don't really want a house full of people at night (I learned that from last time) - its not as helpful as you might think. 
I just actually found out that my dad will be able to take a few days off - he actually HAS some paid time off!  Although he has never really cared for the triplets by himself, he will learn quickly and will be a huge help!
I KNOW that we will figure it out.  I KNOW that it will work out. I KNOW we will find a way to fill in the blanks.  I KNOW.  We brought home triplets with a strangely similar financial situation (what is it about me being pregnant and rough finanacial times anyway?!?) and we worked it out.  I will need to be as scheduled and structured as I was last time to maximize my time and energy.  I am up for the job.  I KNOW that it will be hard.  I know that there will be days that Brian and I will want to kill each other, simply because of the stress level , but we will work it out as we always do.  We have done survival mode before. We can do it again.
I do have to say that if I hear one more woman with just one kid out shopping WITH her nanny complain to me about how tired she is, I will actually punch her in the face.

BIG SMILEY FACE :)

I didn't take a specific 37 week photo but here are some shots from the shower my sister gave me this past Sunday!  I have mentioned before, it was kind of a last minute thing so we had to keep it small - please do not feel bad if you didn't receive an invitation!  We will have a get together later in the year when the weather is warm and we can fill the backyard! :)

Here are some of my fellow Trader Joe's ladies - Trader Joe's employees are the best!

My Mom, Me and my sister Pamela

Some friend and family!

Brian's sister who is also expecting!), Brian's Grandma and me

Some of my dear friends

Niki, Me and Auntie Jenny

Me (apparently sinking into the chair!) and Blue - I can't even express how much I love this girl!

Miss Mary with her BEAUTIFUL daughter Eva

There are more photos but You get the idea!  I feel awful that I didn't make more of an effort to make sure to get a picture with everyone.  Its one of those things that slips your mind when so much is going on!

I am so grateful for this shower for the generosity of loved ones.  As I mentioned before, we thought we were done so we got rid of almost EVERYTHING!  We got lots of much needed stuff for Bonus baby and we are SO very grateful!!

All stress aside, I am grateful.  We are surrounded by love and support and prayer.  We have beautiful healthy children.  One day at a time, I just have to continue to remind myself!

Stay tuned - and PRAY THAT MY WATER DOESN'T BREAK before the 18th! ;)  I don't need any more surprises!

36 Weeks!

36 WEEKS!

This past Monday I hit the 36 week mark! So crazy to think that I have three kids and have never been this pregnant before! Although I am HUGE, I am still no where near as big as I was near the end with the triplets. And I still have the loose skin to prove it - Nice image in your head now, right? ;)

This pregnancy has truly flown by - especially since I only knew about it 18 weeks ago! I already regret not taking more pictures so tonight I grabbed Brian as soon as he came home from work and told him to take a couple photos. These are with my camera phone (our camera is still being dealt with!!!) so they're not the best but they're better than nothing.

Getting all 3 to smile is nearly impossible nowadays so I take what I can get!

Healthwise, pregnancy is going swimmingly.  No gestational diabetes, no high blood pressure - just and enormous baby (and enormous mommy)!  The doctor was shocked when the gestational diabetes test results came back to show that I did NOT have gestational diabetes.  Based on my weight gain and the size of the baby it was almost just assumed that I had it!   THANKFULLY I am in the clear!

I just worked my last night on New Year's Eve.  I was hoping to be able to go longer but being on my feet for 8 hours a night after caring for three 3-year-olds was too much and the doctor pulled me!  I would definitely still be working if I had a desk job (and NO kids at home to wear me out!) that's for sure.

I have definitely reached the point of discomfort, but I really can't complain because this is still beyond easy compared to last time.  I am very grateful for this!  I have the typical end of pregnancy issues:  belly button pain, indigestion, sleep issues, back pain, hip pain, swelling, numbness, etc.  Nothing to worry about!

The kids and I were all sick over Christmas and New Years which made it really rough, but we survived and it looks like we're all in the clear now.

I have to admit, we are no where near ready for this baby. No birth plan.  My bag is not packed.  Nothing washed.  Have not gotten anything ready.  Don't even have any furniture.  Anything we have is still in bags/boxes.  And people keep asking me, "don't you have everything left over from the triplets?"  The answer is "NO!"  We gave it ALL AWAY because we thought we were done having kids!  It still cracks me up! ;)  I DO have lots of donated newborn clothes, blankets, a swing, carseat, boppy and 2 pack-n-plays.  Thank goodness!  If worse comes to worse, she can sleep in the pack-n-play.  I'm not even worried about it anymore.  I can't think too far ahead, and for a planner like me - that is a big deal.  I had to let go.  The stress of where the money/time/energy would come from is not mine to carry.  I surrendered it (MOSTLY) because I have faith that everything will just come together.  It always does.  Not always the way I would plan for it...but it still works out.

NAMES - People keep asking and I am sorry to say we do NOT have a name chosen.  We are down to 2 names though.  He prefers one and I prefer another.  I am considering putting a poll up on the side of the blog to see what people think, but then I don't know if I want everyone's opinions!  And, boy do people have opinions when you're pregnant!  Maybe I'll ask for votes at my shower :)

My sister is throwing me a small shower in a few days and I am looking forward to seeing some friends that I haven't seen in a long time.  I think I mentioned in a previous post, we had to keep it small so please don't feel bad if you didn't receive an invitation.  We are hoping to do another get together sometime in the spring after the baby is born.  That will just be easier for all of us. 

I need to run and make dinner but I am so glad I forced myself to sit and type out a quick update.  I need to be a better blogger!

Thanks for checking in and stay tuned!!!

P.S.  I feel weird/tacky posting this but many of you have been asking so here you go - We are registered at babiesrus under "Cindy Spayth".  Thank you!

33 Weeks And A Quick Update

33 Weeks And A Quick Update
I am just over 33 weeks pregnant and I am on my way out the door to see Dr. Lantry to check on Bonus Baby Girl, but I wanted to quickly post something.  I realize that I've been terrible at blogging the details of this pregnancy.  But know that no news is good news! 
The triplets turned 3 on December 11!  I can't even believe it!  We aren't having their big birthday party until summer - a Half-Birthday Party!  We figured it will be much less stressful then:  I won't be 8+ months pregnant, We won't be right before Christmas, and we will have great weather for an OUTDOOR party so we can make the best use of the yard and have more fun!  They don't know the difference at this age so we should be all good.  We ARE having dinner at my parent's house this weekend to celebrate, but it's just us and a couple of their favorite adults - no party.  Gotta run but here's a few shots of their squishy faces from playing outside this afternoon.  :)

JACKSON

ALEXIS

ZACHARY

Oh, and a few of you asked if I was having a shower.  Initially there wasn't one planned.  It's tacky to throw your own shower so I wasn't even going there.  And I figured since it's not my first pregnancy I wouldn't get one.  As time passed, however, we quicly realized that we REALLY needed stuff.  Remember, we have hardly ANY baby stuff because we gave it all away - WE REALLY THOUGHT WE WERE DONE HAVING MORE BABIES!   Hahah - it still cracks me up to think about it :)

Anyway, so my sister is throwing me a small impromptu shower with just a handful of people, mostly work friends.  I'm thinking we'll have to have a shower AFTER the baby is born so we can make sure to invite everyone.  So please don't feel left out.  This was kindof a last minute deal since I really thought we weren't going to have one and at a rough time of year (during the holidays) so it's small and fast.  And it's RIGHT before my due date.  Let's hope and pray that I don't go into labor before then!  ;)

32 Weeks Pregnant - for the first time EVER!

32 Weeks Pregnant - FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!
I meant to write this post a few days ago but then - I mean, REALLY do I need to explain?
This past week has been such an important one for me as I passed the 31 Week & 4 Days pregnant mark. That gestation is so important to me because that is when my triplets were born! My water broke at 31 Week & 3 Days but I had a full stomach so they had to wait several hours to section me (I had a full stomach of Panda Express, I believe). The babies arrived at 5:50AM, 5:52AM and 5:57AM on December 11, 2007, which means their THIRD Birthday is in less than a week. I CANNOT BELIEVE MY BABIES will turn THREE YEARS OLD. How did this happen???

Anyway, it's crazy to think that I've never been 'this pregnant' before. I HAVE NEVER BEEN 8 MONTHS PREGNANT before today. This pregnancy is SO SO SO different. It's so easy! Last time I was DYING and in tears near the end and in so much physical pain and LOSING MY MIND. This time, I'm chasing 3 VERY ACTIVE toddlers, working a couple nights a week (ON MY FEET!) and having no real problems at all. I am so grateful for this experience. It's like God knew that deep in my heart I always wanted to know what it felt like to carry "JUST ONE" and here I am!
Don't get me wrong, I am TIRED and clumsy and swolen and achy and uncomfortable - all those usual third trimester things. But these are not problems - just reminders that the baby and I are getting BIG!
And speaking of BIG, my belly is ginormous. Of course, NO WHERE NEAR as big as I was with the triplets, but still I am HUGE for being 8 months pregnant! And BOY is everyone letting me know. It's amazing what strangers say - THINK before you speak, people!
I am no where near prepared for this baby. I have not purchase one thing. And, contrary to what you may think - we dont have ANY baby stuff. Not one onesie or sock or anything. Actually we DO have a carseat, a couple of pack-n-plays, a swing (which I pretty much never used with the triplets) and a jumperoo. I gave EVERYTHING else away because we thought we were done! Although I am such a planner, I just couldn't freak out about it. There's enough to do around here! For now, we're switching some rooms around to make a room for the baby. I just hope this baby stays cooking for MANY weeks to come because we've got a lot of getting ready to do!
I've got so much more but I need to get to the things on my list and the steaming piles of laundry while I still have the energy.

25 & 1/2 Weeks And A Bit Of Real Life

25 & 1/2 Weeks And A Bit Of Real Life
I am warning you now - ths post is long and all over the place.   MUCH like the posts from last pregnancy.  It's been a while since I've had a 'spill my guts' post, so I guess it's time.  This one's more for me than for you (all two of you who still read this blog).  I PROMISED myself I would do my best to document this pregnancy on the blog.  So far it's been pretty LAME!  This time around I am just SO BUSY.  I haven't even taken any pics aside from the last one we posted at 22 weeks!  So like I said, this is more for me (using this blog as my journal) than for you.  Here is a recent shot - taken last night.

This baby won't have as much documented and I feel bad about that.  SOOOOO a crappy photo is better than NO photo!
Yes I realize that I have one more child than is shown in the photo.  Jackson would NOT be in the picture and was throwing a fit to the side.  I wasn't willing to fight this time around, so you just get Alexis and Zachary! :)

There are SO many photos I want to post.  Like - DUH - the 20 weeks ultrasound images!  And from Jackson's recent haircut and our trip to Descanso Gardens to see the pumpkins.  But they are on my phone and I am having problems getting the pictures off my phone.  I am dealing with tech support and will hopefully get it resolved. 
And why are they on my phone?  Because our point and shoot camera has been dead for a while and I think (HOPE) all it needs is a battery.  Another thing on the list to buy.  We need to get on it because with that back in business it will be much easier to take and upload photos.  And I REALLY want to make sure to document as much of this pregnancy as I realistically can -what's left of it, at least!
Otherwise, this pregnancy has been fantastic so far.  At least from my perspective, being that the last one was EXTREMELY difficult.  I have been feeling better than I did a few months ago (when I didn't know I was pregnant!) and I am SO grateful for this.  I LOVE THIS PREGNANCY!  I can, however, feel myself turning that third trimester corner.  I am getting more tired and having some uncomfortable symptoms as I grow, which is to be expected.  The only really bad pregnancy symptom I've had is the digestive problems.  That's the nice way to put it, btw.  Basically it feels like my guts are filled with granite.  VERY uncomfortable.

I am in much less pain this time around.  I would even say that I don't really have much pain except for nights that I work.  Being on my feet for most of 8 hours is really rough on my lower back and growing hips and my feet get so swolen!

One of the things I enjoy most about this pregnancy is feeling this baby move.  She is INCREDIBLY active. Not only is she a super kicker (like Zachary was) but a roller and wiggler (like Jackson and Alexis were).  I don't know when she sleeps!  And she kicks the strongest in the middle of the night.  Without fail, she starts turbo kicking me somewhere between 2am and 3am.  This is NOT good for my sleep schedule but I smile every time.  I LOVE feeling this so much!  :)

I am carrying higher than I imagined I would this time around.  I figured since all my muscles were so stretched and wrecked from the triplet prengancy, that if I ever had another pregnancy it would be LOW.  Not really the case, thank goodness.  The only thing about carrying higher is that the heartburn is HORRIBLE.  I would even say WORSE this time around.  And, if you really want to know, my "fanny pack" isn't filling in.  Which is NOT pretty!  And THAT is why you are not getting any bare belly shots this time around - not just because Brian put the kibosh on it!  You got enough last time anyway ;)

My appetite this time around has been ridiculous.  I want the same things ALL THE TIME.  Unfortunately it's all CRAP.  I want cheese pizza (which I never really cared about before), Pancakes, Thrifty Rocky Road ice cream, and Whopper Juniors with no cheese -  I KID YOU NOT.  It's awful.  And NOTHING can be spicy enough.  It's like I can't even taste spice - I want everything hot!  Not ALL of it has been crap.  I do like Trader Joe's BBQ chicken salads.  I want one every day pretty much. 
I remember last time, all I wanted were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, pancakes, gazspacho, pho, and cold cuts (which I wasn't allowed to have).  There was not much else that sounded good because I was so sick!  Last night I went to the mall to buy a pair of pregnancy pants and I was SO EXCITED about getting a slice of cheese pizza in the food court.  SO not me!  I think I could eat pizza every day this time around!

I am gaining weight pretty much the same way as last time - only up top.  I basically look like a potato with toothpick legs.  You may think, at first, that it's a good thing.  But I didn't say I am all belly - I am gaining it ALL up top.  Like a true "Apple" I gain it in the abdomen, back, chest and face.  Blagh!

Life outside this wonderful pregnancy has unfortunately been stressful.  Brian's most recent job interview didn't work out and he is still searching diligently for a new position.  ANYWHERE.  Especially now that his company announced that they're not doing well and that they are cutting everyone's salaries in an effort to avoid layoffs.  The layoffs seem inevitable, however, based on the numbers of how the company is actually doing.  eek.  Praying.

My goodness, didn't we just do this last year?  Or should I say, haven't we BEEN doing this since last year?  When I look back to those old post, I really seen HOW ROUGH this past year and a half has been. 

BREATHE. 

And then I get pregnant.

BREATHE.

I know in my heart that God knows what he's doing.  But let me tell you it's HARD to keep mindful of this sometimes.  I am tired.  I am tired of struggling like this.  This is NOT where we saw ourselves.  We have made lemonade out of lemons but it's HARD on us.  Hard on our marriage.  And I hate to admit it, it DOES affect our kids.

BREATHE.

Back to it - This whole salary cut/potential layoff was definitely bad news, especially since I am working fewer hours now that I am the size of Rhode Island. 
And, let me tell you, I would be willing to MOVE to Rhode Island if there were a job opportunity for Brian that would provide for our family.
We have opened our search back up to ANYWHERE, since this economy is so rough and California's unemployment/cost of living is not improving. His last interview was actually for a position in Dallas.  Although it didn't pan out, we continue to pray that something will open up somewhere. 
In the meantime it's tough with both of us still working opposite hours - Brian doing the Monday through Friday 8-5 thing and me doing the nights and weekends thing.  I REALLY miss having weekends and doing fun stuff (birthday parties, etc).  And, NO, we didn't suddenly grow a nanny/gardener/house cleaner tree - we are still doing it all ourselves.  So you can imagine the state of our house nowadays.  Now that I am pregnant and more phyisically tired I have to let go of even more, which is not easy.  Some things just don't get done, which unfortunately adds stress.  Its truly a balancing act. 
As far as help is concerned, we don't have the help we used to, like that first year with the triplets - HOLY CRAP WAS THAT CRAZY!  Oops, sorry - just thinking back to that time makes my head spin.  ;)
Nowadays, we are stretched THIN. I pay a friend to come once a week to watch the kids for a couple of hours on Fridays so i can leave for work before Brian get's home from work.  They LOVE her, which is really nice. :)  My parents come once a week on Sunday nights (while I am at work) to play with the kids and to help Brian with dinner and baths. He uses this time to get a lot of his work done (yardwork, kitchen, etc). 
A few months ago, in a moment of frazzled fury we were coming apart at the seams (this was even before finding out I was pregnant) I ended up calling our friend Jen - in tears - and we ended up asking her to come over one night a week to help us so Brian and I can relieve some stress and avoid killing each other (AND, of course, so we can get stuff done). It had gotten to THAT point.  Since then, Jen has been so generous with her time, giving us one night a week - every single week.  She has TWO jobs herself but loves us and the kids so much that she has happily agreed to extend us this help.  And she really wants us to stay married to each other ;).  Although it's literally only about 2.5 hours a week - her help is SO MUCH.  We are so very grateful.

SO much is up in the air - so many questions.
Can we find a less expensive place to live and move before this baby comes?  Will I still have to work nights with a newborn and pump in the store-room and leave Brian home alone at night with FOUR under four?  Can Brian's comany at least keep it together until we find another job for him - maybe a job that actually pays more than unemployment did and one that actually provides benefits?  Can we add ANY more to our plate?
I can't control everything.
At this point, I am one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time!  I can't think past tomorrow.  It just stresses me out too much.  I have to believe that God's timing is perfect and that as long as we continue to do our VERY BEST, the right solutions will present themselves.  I have hard days, I can't lie.  I never saw us in this place but I know that everything that is truly important is still in tact.  I am SO grateful for this fact.
This baby will be here in a matter of a couple of months and although I would LOVE if all of this stress were resolved before the baby arrives, I am fully aware that it just may not be.  And we have to find a way to make it work no matter what.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

It's A Girl, NO...Boy...NO, really...it's a GIRL!

It's A Girl, NO...Boy...NO, really...it's a GIRL!

I just got home from an appointment with Dr. Lantry and I am still giggling because there was a little confusion during my appointment today.  When I got there and was talking to my nurse she said that the report from my 20 week ultrasound with Dr. DeVore said that Bonus Baby is a BOY, not a girl as we have believed for the last 2 weeks.  Turns out that it was just an error and that #4 really IS a girl, but for a while I was not so sure!  Funny thing is I wasn't disappointed to hear it was a boy.  I was excited and happy!  This pregnancy has been such a surprise blessing - I really don't care either way about the sex of the baby.  I like the idea of 2 boys & 2 girls and I LOVE the idea of Alexis having a sister (I LOVE MY sister!), but I was surprisingly pleased when I thought it was a boy.  It's a WIN-WIN people!  I get to be pregnant with a singleton - something I thought would never happen.  I am so grateful and excited about this baby coming.  Brian and I are really happy.  As you know that's NOT how he felt in the beginning, but as the shock wore off, we have become so excited about having another baby.  We can't wait to see how the triplets are with a little baby sister!  Brian even added "Baby Sister" to the kabies' nightly prayers.  It melted my heart to hear that HE WAS THE ONE to think of it, not me.
Now their nightly prayers go like this:

"Dear Jesus, 

Thank you for Mommy 

Thank you for Daddy

Thank you for Mimi (Alexis)

Thank you for Zacky (Zachary)

Thank you for Jackson

Thank you for Baby Sister

A-MEN!"

Hearing him say their prayers with them every night (the nights I'm not working) MELTS my hormonal heart!  Sooooo excited to see this caveman with a new little baby.  :)

The appointment went well.  No ultrasound but we did hear the heartbeat.  I haven't been worried at all because I feel her kicking me NON STOP all day/night.  I wonder when this baby sleeps.  She is a feisty one!  Zachary was the feisty one in utero but has turned out to be the mellow one after being born.  Let's hope Bonus Baby turns out mellow too.  I don't know if I can keep up with another feisty one! 
I asked Lantry if I could go back to exercising and even running around the Rose Bowl again while pushing the triple stroller.  She said it was NO problem, as long as I don't let my heartrate go over 140BPM.  This was great news!  Now I need maternity workout clothes.  I can no longer fit in any of my running shorts.  Do they even make maternity running shorts?  Something to look into!

Otherwise the pregnancy is going very well.  I have some minor issues but NOTHING compared to last time.  This is a piece of cake compared to last time and I joke that I could do this 100 more times!  Brian does NOT laugh when I say that ;)  In reality I am very happy with four kids.  I wouldn't mind be pregnant again but I am done having more kids.  Maybe surrogacy is in my future?  Hmmmmmm...

I gotta go throw something  in the washing machine before the kids wake up from nap.  thanks for the love and support and please continue to keep our family in your prayers!

P.S.  I will be shifting over to blogger comments soon.  Hopefully that will resolve the issues that so many of you report having with not being able to leave comments.  Sorry about the problems - hopefully the switch will resolve all of that.

An Incomplete Update

An Incomplete Update

...Incomplete because I have no images for you.  I realize that you have been waiting on us to post ultrasound images and I will do it - I PROMISE - but there was an issue with the format of the video and compressing it and...i don't exactly know because that's Brian's department.  Stuff like this always takes longer than we want it to and with ALL OUR FREE TIME...well, you know.  I think "we will get it done tomorrow", but then tomorrow is actually a day full of all the usual stuff and me on my feet at work til 10pm and everything else just falls off the plate.  It's coming.  I promise.

Nothing back yet on the job interview from last week.  I think I've chewed all of my fingernails down to the quick because I am SO good at being patient and letting things happen.  NOT obsessing at all.

R i g h t.

The pregnancy is moving right along.  I am a little over 21 weeks and I am still in shock sometimes.  My belly is just as big now as it was at 21 weeks with triplets.  I don't get it.  This baby (let's call her Bonus Baby) is a kicking machine!  She seriously doesn't stop moving.  Which is W O N D E R F U L.  Sometimes she kicks so hard it feels somthing like an electric shock.  I don't know how else to explain it.  And the somersaults - like everything turning inside out inside of me.  Such a strange feeling.  I LOVE feeling my baby move inside of me.  I savor every single kick, and wiggle.  I KNOW I will miss this very much.

I am still working, but only three nights a week (instead of four).  It is good because I don't think I could handle any more since I am SO PHYSICALLY exhausted after 8 hours on my feet each night.  But, it's really scary because that's FOUR days of pay that I am no longer earning each month.  I didn't know it could get tighter, but it has.

If you are my friend on Facebook then you know we went SWAGGER last week.  If you don't know what that means I am gonna give you a moment to watch this video.  I'll wait. 

I NEVER thought I would own a minivan.  NEVER.  NEVER EVER EVER.  But then we had a gaggle of babies at once and I thought that it was MAYBE in our future.  And THEN I got pregnant with #4 and reality hit. 

Where the heck are we gonna put this baby???

We have NO ROOM for the new baby in either of our vehicles.  We barely have room for the kids we already have!  So we started looking for what we could afford and praying that we would find something reasonable. 
We got more than we dreamed of.  Long story short, a generous family member asked us if they could help us with a car that would safely fit all of our children.  Pride aside, we knew that this was an answer to prayer and would be best for our family.  I am still so overwhelmed by the generosity of our loved ones and by how loved and prayed for our family is.  Life isn't always comfortable but we are richly blessed with love that surrounds us.  I really feel that.  If you are one of the folks praying for us, "Thank you!"  I am so grateful!  Oh, and I LOVE my minivan.  I cannot believe I did the first 2.5 years with triplets without one!  If you've got 2+ kids, its a MUST!

It's 1AM and although Bonus Baby will be kicking the crap out of me for a long time, I MUST at least try and get some sleep.  There's your update for now.  Please keep praying for us.  Hopefully next post I'll have ultrasound images and job news. :)

Holy Crap - Part 2

Holy Crap - Part 2

I know you're going crazy and you want the stats NOW. Here you go:

How pregnant am I?

EIGHTEEN WEEKS. Yes I was (STILL AM) SHOCKED too. That's 4.5 months. The baby is about the size of a small mango. I have been pregnant since end of April/beginning of May and had NO IDEA. More on this in the next post.

What is my due date?

January 31, 2011. This may change after I see the perinatologist. The baby will be about 3 years younger than his/her older siblings (born 12/11/07).

How many are in there?

Thankfully, there is only ONE BABY. Screw you guys who were wishing for another set of multiples!

Do you know the sex of the baby?

Dr. Lantry's guess is that it's a girl. But she said NOT SURE so don't paint anything pink yet.


Here are some not-so-great shots of the baby. I will have better pics after visiting the perinatologist (Dr. DeVore - remember him from last time?).

This one looks like the baby is showing girl bits:
Here's the head:
Blobbish weird blurry pic:
baby kind of bent over. you can see the spine:

I have a longer post that goes into more detail about my whirlwind emotional day, but I will leave it at this for now. Stay tuned!!!

Holy Crap - Part 1

Holy Crap - Part 1

Well, slap me in the face and call me Shirley!

I didn't sleep much last night. Here's why:

And because I didn't believe it, I took the second one:

And then I still couldn't believe it, so I drove to the drug store in the middle of the night and bought this one:

Because I apparently needed it spelled out IN WORDS.

To answer your questions:

YES, these are mine. This is not a joke (I would NOT joke about this).

Yes I am sure. It was confirmed at the doctor's office today.

No, we were NOT trying. If you read the last few posts you will see that this is not what we would have chosen as the best timing. But we are grateful.

We are still in SHOCK, to say the least.

Your prayers are much appreciated. First ultrasound next week. stay tuned!