Thursday, November 13, 2008

Want your own post-triplet pregnancy belly?

Want your own post-triplet pregnancy belly?

Get a box of Jello. A big one. Any Flavor. Make a bowl of Jello by following the instructions on the box.

Once the Jello is set, get a fork and poke/cut through the entire bowlful. Not too much, just enough to make it chunky throughout.

Pour the entire contents of that bowl of Jello into a fanny pack. All of it.

Zip up the fanny pack and put it on, making sure it sags over your lower abdomen. Make sure you’re naked first.
Now, proceed to get dressed as you normally would. Put on your underwear, pants, etc. Just make sure that you put your pants on OVER your fanny pack. It should always go underneath all of your clothes.

Go through your underwear drawer searching for something to help keep that fanny pack in place under your clothes. Use whatever works.

Now, go on about your day and out into the world as usual. Try not to think about the jiggly bag of skin Jello in your pants.

Adjust your fanny pack throughout the day.

Now, here’s the kicker…never take it off. Ever. The only way you can take it off is if you give a doctor anywhere from $3500 to $10000 to do it for you. They call this procedure a tummy tuck.


P.S. Today is Brian's Grandma's 90th Birthday - Happy Birthday G'ma!