Saturday, November 15, 2008

Anonymous comment and the problem with facebook

Anonymous comment and the problem with facebook

I wasn’t planning on talking about it but I want to answer some of your e-mail questions regarding the recent negative comment on my blog.

Yes, I saw the Anonymous comment from last week. I actually read it on the night of my birthday party. Happy Birthday to me!

Yes, it did bother me. For a minute, at least. Then I just moved on. At the time, I felt that focusing on it would be giving it power. I wasn’t planning on addressing it, simply because I didn’t want to give it any of my energy. I would have deleted it, but for some reason I just didn’t. However, because of some of your honest questions, I want to address it and clarify what I think and how I feel.

The fact of the matter is that it’s simply a nasty and mean comment. These things happen. There are lots of people out there who choose to live their lives being nasty and antagonistic to others. Some even choose to go onto strangers’ blogs to do it. That’s the reality of having a public blog.

There was a time when something like this would have wounded me. I would have reacted with outrage. “HOW DARE YOU!” I would have had my fists a-waving! I imagine I would be ranting obnoxiously about the anonymous antagonist and then post some lengthy diatribe about cowardly comment trolls.
Oh, the drama.
How embarrassing.
I needed to seriously grow up.
Luckily for all of you, I am a little more emotionally mature than I was in my twenties. Just a little. I am still obnoxious. But I have definitely become much less reactive and have worked towards being a little more level-headed. Less angry.

No, I don’t know who they are. I know their I.P. address, the city they commented from, the kind of browser they use, what search words they typed into google as they were looking for my blog (they apparently knew what they were looking for and had been to my blog before), what search words they used while visiting my blog…I just don’t know who they are. And I am perfectly fine with that.

What I do know, however, is what I think. And I think that it’s actually really sad. The part that struck me the most wasn’t the profanity or being called sick or selfish, or even having my parenting harshly judged by a stranger. It was the fact that he/she revealed that he/she was a twin himself/herself. Which means, if this person was being honest, they were clearly expressing some seriously intense anger and pain about their own lives and projecting it onto us. How sad is that? And I am not asking that sarcastically. I really mean it. It’s so sad. It is sad that someone is so unhappy and insecure that they are okay with attacking someone else - a complete stranger in this case - with such vitriol. I cannot imagine using my words to denigrate someone on the internet, no matter how fired up I was, how justified I felt or how funny I thought I was being. Its cruel and its wrong.

Some people only know how to lift themselves up by stepping on others. Admittedly, I was once of these people. It took me a while to realize that this is just poisonous living. The negativity breeds and multiplies. And then all that surrounds you is more of the same. It’s an awful place to be. I now find myself REALLY turned off by this kind of stuff. Sure, I am human and I have acted in ways that I later regret. I think we all have gotten a little nasty before. Ideally though, cattiness and maliciousness are not cool.

I am sorry that this person was not willing to leave a name or e-mail address. But that’s how it goes. I would be willing to have a real e-mail conversation with them.
Now, I am done talking about it on my blog. Thanks, friends, for your e-mails of concern.

By the way, the comment was not the reason for the break in posting. I was simply really busy. I spent a week hand-writing 100+ Thank You cards, preparing for my birthday party (post coming soon-ish), and helping my Mom prepare for the babies Tol – or one year birthday party coming up. And speaking of this – can you believe the babies will be one year old in less than a month? I have actually shed a few tears in the past couple of weeks as I watch how quickly they are growing. WOW. I am overwhelmed by how blessed we are to have happy and healthy babies. A ten/eleven month post is in the works. Brian is actually uploading the pictures for me because he is cool like that and because he loves me. And also because he knows I hate doing it.
Other than being busy, the only other excuse I have is....FACEBOOK. I've got a love/hate relationship with it and I wish I never signed up sometimes. Its addicting!!! When I signed up a few months ago, Jessica said, "...welcome to the biggest waste of time since MySpace!" This made me laugh back then and NOW because its SO TRUE. I do not have time for that crap, yet I find myself strangely addicted. I need to exercise some self control.

I will leave you with one of the cutest things ever. I came into the babies’ room to find Alexis playing in her blankets. It seemed, however, that she got “lost”. Check it out:

How cute is my baby girl?!?! That smile melts my heart every time. :)