Sleep Training My Triplets

Sleep Training My Triplets

This past year has been an amazing one filled with many milestones for us and for the babies. One of the things that stands out in my mind is the whole "sleeping through the night" thing. It is one of the top ten things I have been asked about when I am out with the babies.

"Do they sleep through the night?"

Technically sleeping through the night is sleeping five hours or more during the night. Tell that to an exhausted set of parents and they'll tell you, "NO WAY" does that feel even remotely close to sleeping through the night. But its certainly better than the hour here and there in the beginning. It was this seemingly unnatainable goal to me, in the beginning. I dreamed of the day that they would finally sleep through the night. And my interpretatation of sleeping throught the night was NOT five hours - but more like twelve. During the most exhausting first weeks of having them home, twelve hours seemed like an impossibility. A dream.

I have finally gotten around to writing another post about our experience with sleep and scheduling since promising you to do so almost six months ago. This one addresses sleep training, Weissbluth style - A HOT topic for sure. I must preface this by saying that I believe that parents all choose to do what they feel is best for their family. In no way do I believe that I know what's best for you and your family. Every family is different and the great thing is that there are so many choices out there. For our family, sleep training was a good choice.

For now, I want to start by just clarifying what I know sleep training to mean, for me. I think there is a misconception among the anti-sleep training folks that "sleep training" equals "abandoning your baby and letting them cry and scream all night long no matter what". While I type that half jokingly, I do know people who are very strongly against all baby-training whose perception of sleep training may be just that - a form of abandonment. However, this is not what I know sleep training to be. Or at least, not the version of sleep training that we implemented. I think many people are referring to the Ferber method when referring to sleep training, which is also informally known as the cry-it-out method. While we did not choose to “Ferber-ize” our children, I do not feel it would have necessarily been a bad thing if we had. I tend to think that the Ferber method is often misrepresented and misunderstood. I believe it has been unfairly characterized as a “shut the door and ignore” or “let ‘em cry all night” type of thing, which it isn’t really. Maybe that’s how some people choose to interpret and implement it, I don’t know. But I’m not here to talk about Ferber since, like I said, its not the philosophy that we used to sleep train our babies. I happened to chose Weissbluth - and I am so glad that I did.

One thing about the Weissbluth method is that it focuses not just on night-time but also on day/wake-time - more specifically, the duration of wake-time (this is KEY), and the activity/stimulation level during wake-time. So, rather than spending all night “sleep-training” your baby, its more like you spend all day focusing on creating a perfect rhythm, which helps lead to healthy sleep. Its pretty simple if you think about it.

Take our own adult lives, for example. To put it very simply, if we have a healthy daytime routine that includes the right amount and balance of activity and rest, it is likely that we will sleep well. It is likely that if we develop a good daily routine – one which includes regular cycles of eating, activity, resting, exercise, etc. – we may also develop healthy sleep habits. Healthy daytime encourages healthy nighttime.

When you think of it that way, it makes lots of sense. Its almost a no-brainer, except for the fact that some people (ME ME ME) are NOT really always living an optimally healthy daytime routine – at least not CONSISTENTLY, and thus are also not really healthy in their sleep habits. If this resonates with you, don’t feel bad. I learned a LOT about MY OWN terrible daytime habits, which lead to pretty crappy sleep habits.

I have NEVER been a good sleeper. I believe this to likely be a combination of A) being born with a certain personality that seems to resist sleep (One of my children is also like this) AND B) by design – or simply not having LEARNED healthy sleep habits. I knew that while I could not control factor A, I could control factor B. I could teach my children how to sleep. This includes daytime sleep - or naps - Which is another HUGE key according to Weissbluth.

According to Weissbluth, daytime sleep is just as important as nighttime sleep. It has its own unique restorative value, different from – but just as important as - nighttime sleep. It is NOT just optional nuggets of sleep that you can consistently skip based on social calendar, convenience or any other potential interruption, without paying a price. And the price isn’t just cranky babies or fussy bedtimes. According to Weissbluth, the price is MUCH greater.

Weissbluth claims that inconsistent sleep and sleep deprivation in babies (and in all children for that matter) can lead to long term issues including problems with learning, behavior, hyperactivity and other health issues. He claims that sleep-deficiency may harm neurological development. Without going into that stuff too much, I will just say that I found this to be alarming! I tend to agree that sleep-deprivation can be harmful.

The thing is, I think there is an expectation that a baby knows how much sleep he/she needs. While I agree with that expectation somewhat, I believe it to be only HALF true. It is missing the important fact that babies need to learn a healthy process of falling (and staying) asleep. It’s true that without interference, the natural process would likely develop. HOWEVER, this is unrealistic given our daily lives. Realistically, our days are usually not perfect for building a good sleep routine and circadian rhythm for babies. People have busy lives and like it or not, babies don’t always benefit from the adult schedules.

Brian and I believed it was crucial to build a foundation of consistent sleep. This was a huge commitment – one that I didn’t realize we would be making until after the babies were born. In fact, I didn’t even buy Weissbluth’s book until the babies were about three months old. As you may know, I had already been using some of what I read in Baby Wise to create a structure and general schedule in my day. It was crucial for me to do so, given the fact that I was alone with all three of them for most of the time. I was encouraged by my game-plan with Baby Wise. Baby Wise was what helped me created a great routine and get all three babies on the same schedule. Before then, they all came home from the hospital on different schedules - which was not ideal. For me, using Baby Wise was great.

However, I saw some holes in my plan. I was sold on Baby Wise’s “Feed/Wake/Sleep” cycle but I was left wondering about their wake and sleep time. How long should they be awake? Until Weissbluth, I was keeping them up WAY TOO LONG and didn’t know it. In my mind, if I kept them up longer, they would be more likely to fall asleep and stay asleep for the “Sleep” part of each feeding cycle. When I read Weissbluth and learned that I should be shortening their wake time to ensure better sleep, I was confused. It seemed counter-intuitive to put them down sooner in order to get them to fall sleep faster and for longer periods. Basically, his advice was to shorten their wake-time to help them go to sleep better. Although I was confused, I was open-minded.

Let me tell you, it was TRULY an instant difference. And by instant, I mean the very first day that I decide to commit to it, there was an immediate difference. Not only in their sleep but in their wake-time moods and in how well they ate/nursed. ESPECIALLY in Alexis. If you remember, she was diagnosed COLIC (this is in CAPS because OHMYGOSH it was AWFUL) by several of the neonatologists in the NICU. After about a month of having her home, I had just resigned myself to having a colicky baby and figured we would have to wait it out - that eventually, she would grow out of it. This was an exhausting and frustrating thing. She cried ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME. I’m sorry, am I repeating myself? That’s right. ALL THE TIME.

Anyway, what seemed to really help her symptoms (not all of them because remember -she was also on medications for her digestive issues) was MORE SLEEP, MORE OFTEN. Each daytime 3-hour cycle (feed/wake/sleep) would basically include a bottle & burp, LESS THAN one hour wake time, and then nap – for almost two whole hours. The nighttime cycle remained the same "feed and then right back to sleep" cycle. The change in daytime wake-time was a huge departure from the almost two hours wake-time that we had previously been doing. All three babies seemed to fall right into it. They were happier. I couldn’t believe that first time when I went to put all three of them down for a nap after less than an hour of being awake, that they all went down without the screaming that I was used to. They were not over-stimulated. They were not over-tired. They were just right.

I cried. I was shocked. I was still confused. But mostly, I was exhausted, so I rushed my butt into my own bed (after pumping) for a real nap. I actually slept for more than an hour, which was monumental for me during that period. It was bizarre and new and heavenly. Mind you, this wasn’t every single time. It took some time and some tweaking but there was definitely overall improvement.

Over time, this “wake-time” eventually stretched out to an hour and then an hour-and-a half and then two hours and then to now which is about two-and-a-half to three hours wake-time. Basically, as they got older they were able to tolerate longer wake time. I adjusted accordingly, as I read their cues. I don’t want to go into too many details of their sleep but I want to still get across to you how important of a nugget it was for me to learn - the importance of appropriate wake-time and how it benefited everything we did. Including the quality of the naps.

As I have previously touched upon, the best naps were created by finding that sweet spot of optimal wake time AND by being consistent. REALLY consistent. That meant that NO MATTER WHAT, I made it a priority to be absolutely consistent with their routine and to deviate as little as possible, especially in the first year. I was fierce about their naps and sleep in general. Weissbluth calls it “Protecting your child’s sleep” and I consider it a vital part of the process of teaching a child healthy sleep. It is, however, the area in which I received a LOT of slack. People would say, “You make them sleep too much.” Or “Just bring them…you need to live your life.” Thing is, we were living our life. We waited so long to have these babies and this is the life we wanted to be living. We felt that this was the best thing for our children. Not anyone else’s children, but ours.

I remembered reading in the book that we would be criticized and misunderstood for our inflexibility when it came to the babies’ sleep. I didn’t keep them awake for visitors or for family or anyone - just so people could play with them longer. I didn't force them to stay awake for social convenience. When it was time to sleep, I put them down. Even my own family was miffed at first (NOW they are supportive and are actually HUGE fans of our method). I was fiercely protective of their sleep. People misinterpreted that as being overscheduled. I knew better.

Here’s the thing. Before having children of my own, I saw myself as a “go go go” Mom and taking my baby along for the ride. I saw us as changing very little of our lifestyle to accommodate a baby. I didn’t have a clue then about how much and how often a baby needs to be sleeping. To my surprise, it was A LOT more than I had expected. Once having my own child(ren), I had done a lot of research on sleep – since it is one my most favorite things in the whole wide world EVER – and I changed my thinking and my focus. I came to believe that sleep is as important as food and that just as I would NOT deprive my child of food to accommodate my schedule, neither would I deprive my child of sleep for the same reason. Both were equally important, especially to a tiny baby.

I could go on and on and on but instead of continuing to bore you with more details of my zealous philosophy on sleep training, Let me share with you some things that I found especially important in my own experience in successfuly sleep training OUR trio:

-I always put the babies to bed AWAKE.

-I always put them to sleep in their crib(s). I never (EVER EVER EVER) put them to sleep in the swing, in the bouncy chair, on someone, in the car-seat…This isn’t because I am a mean awful Mommy. It’s because I felt that it was important for me to be consistent and to do things that I could actually maintain in caring for my trio. For example, I didn’t want to HAVE TO put my baby to sleep in the swing in order to get them to fall asleep because that is something I would not be able to actually maintain (for many reasons but one important reason is that I had only ONE swing and THREE babies!). I didn’t want them to become dependent on anything to fall asleep. There was no way I was going to load all three of them in the truck and go for a drive whenever naptime came around. I was being realistic. Their crib was ideal because its what I could maintain.

-I came to believe that motionless sleep was actually better quality sleep. Per Weissbluth, motionless sleep was important in learning to stay asleep and that motion sleep (e.g in a swing or in the car) was not as restorative as motionless sleep. I found that for my babies, this was absolutely true. I stopped using the swing for sleep as soon as I learned this.

-A baby’s biological need for sleep is always changing so I was especially aware of following their cues and knowing their signs to make sure I was on top of shifts in sleep requirements. This proved to be especially challenging at first since they are three very different babies! As all mother’s do, however, I got to know them very well and reading each of them became easier and easier. As much as I was a huge fan of schedules (still am), I was not focused on watching the clock as much as I was on watching the baby(ies).

-Consistent sleep routine is important. More specifically, I had a routine for each sleep period. For example, for naps I would consistently follow the same ritual of decreasing stimulation, diaper change, back “pat pat” and leaving the room while the babies were still awake. For nighttime, we had (and still do) a solid nighttime routine that included bath, bottle (NOT ANYMORE - WOO HOO!), snuggle, diaper, music, lights off. Every night. Brian and I know our roles in each routine which has made it even easier since we know what to do and what to expect.

-I always encouraged their attempts to self-soothe. For example, for a while Alexis had a habit of putting her fingers in her mouth and humming just before falling asleep. I never discouraged it because it was not only her way of self-soothing, but also her way of learning how to go to sleep on her own.

-I formed their schedule around a 7am-ish wake time and 7pm-ish bedtime. Some people said this is too early (WHAT???) but I believe it is based on a natural and healthy cycle that will benefit them as they develop their own internal clock and continue to grow.

We have tried to follow the “Weissbluthian” rules of early bedtimes and regular naptimes. Consistency is key. I found that when I deviated, so did they. I believe that in order to get something to work, you have to actually DO IT and do it consistently. No excuses.

Now that they are older babies, things are much more flexible. But the bottom line issues still remains for us:
1. We still do NOT skip naps unless we must for important things like doctor’s appointments and for special occasions.

2. They still have a consistent bedtime, although we have gotten much more flexible with this when we have stuff going on. We just try not to schedule too many things too many days in a row so that they don't fall out of routine.

3. We still have a consistent bedtime routine that we all really enjoy together. It has evolved as time has passed but we still both put them down after a period of snuggle time together. It’s a nice way to end the day. And trust me, sometimes the end of the day cannot come fast enough!

There are times when they will fuss when we put them down, but its almost always when we have people over and I think the babies want to stay awake and play! Either that or we’ve kept them up too late and they are overly-tired. No matter what, we have built what we consider to be a good foundation of healthy sleep habits that we feel will benefit them as they continue to grow.
This process was never easy, but I believe we are all reaping the benefits now and it has surely been more than worth it!

General Updateyness

General Updateyness

Its been so long since I’ve really updated you. Where do I begin?
Firstly, the whole potential nap situation I told you about? CRISIS AVERTED. Thank Goodness. I was SO afraid that I was going to have to make some drastic changes around here but, thankfully, things are back to normal (for NOW, at least). One day, they just started napping again. I attribute the temporary nap issues I was having to THREE things:
1. They were all congested/runny noses and not feeling great. Thankfully, they never actually got ‘sick’. PHEW!
2. They had just discovered that they could play during naptime. It was new and interesting!
3. Finally, I admit I had gotten loosey goosey with the schedule and was being inconsistent. Once I got right back on, they started sleeping during naptime again.

Now, I know the day will come that they will be dropping that first nap – I have no illusions about that – but I am SURE glad that its not here yet. I LOVE that first nap. That is when I can get LOTS done (on a good day). Like showering, preparing dinner (Crockpot), pay bills, laundry, laundry, and laundry!!! I am SO not ready to lose that first nap and thankfully they’re not either. YET.
I DID really appreciate all of the help and advice I got from you other mamas. I LOVE having support in the computer!!! I took some of your advice and set up a pack-n-play in our big closet (sounds weird but trust me its not). I haven’t had to use it yet, but its nice to know its there when I do eventually need it.
Its amazing to imagine they all used to sleep in the same crib. sniff sniff.

I also pushed their morning nap back as well. So for instance, if they wake up at 7:30, they go down closer to 10am rather than 9:30 like before. Basically their morning wake time is longer. The great thing is that they still nap for about two hours (in the afternoon too). SO it was just a matter of finding a new ‘sweet spot’. I had to re-visit my Weissbluth to be reminded that TIMING is everything. Optimal wake time and consistency in the timing of when they go down. I just had to make some adjustments. Once we found the new sweet spot I have been consistent and its really paid off.

This reminds me that I have so many posts in my head. I’ve started writing a post about scheduling and sleep etc but I just never sit down and finish it. I’ve got to get on it!!!

Anywho, I think the last time we really ‘talked’ I was SICK. I got hit HARD and it lingered but I’m finally all better now and the babies are no longer in runny nose limbo. That was disgusting. They put everything in their mouths so imagine how disgusting everything was at the end of the day. I had to throw everything in the washing machine OR Brian washed it in the sink (depending on if it was fabric or plastic). It was so hard for me not to be too anxious about the germs everywhere. I am so glad that everyone is all better now!

Being sick really put me behind on my already endless list of things to get done RIGHT NOW. I am trying to manage this without getting too stressed. Its hard though because it can be quite overwhelming! Anyone who thinks that staying home with my kids means baking cookies and watching Maury Povich has NO IDEA what I do. I can’t even imagine turning on the TV!
Another thing that has put me behind? LOST. That’s right. I finally finished. I am finally caught up to the current episode schedule and let me tell you, I am no better for it. I feel WORSE. The fact that I stayed up WAY TOO LATE on the nights I was catching up did not help me get better quickly. I admit this. But, that show is seriously the most addicting thing ever. Crack? Heroin? I have never done either of these, HOWEVER, I would suggest that LOST is right up there. I am SICK about it! And I have to wait until January-ish!?! For more. UGH.
Yes, I know that is totally ridiculous.
More to update but I've gotta go since I was only supposed to be on the computer while eating my lunch. Lots to do before they wake up!!!
I'll update you more tomorrow about weight loss and exercise. That's right. Posting TWO days in a row. Please try to contain your excitement! :)

I am in BIG trouble.

I am in big trouble.
It is 9:36am. The babies went down about a half hour ago. Normally they are fast asleep by now and sleep at least until about 11.
Today, however, is a different day. I hear them giggling. They have discovered each other from across the room. I know they are all standing in their cribs looking at each other and squealing. This is a problem because without taking this good morning nap they are pills before the second nap and then its too far gone to recover from and the end of the day is meltdown central. How do I know this? Because this has been happening all week. All while they have finally (mostly) dropped the third little short nap.

And, NO, they are NOT ready to drop this first nap. They are WAY too young to go to one nap a day. And, no, I don't believe a baby knows how much sleep he/she needs so don't say it.

My normally stellar nappers have been playing during naptime. They eventually pass out but never sleep as well and are CRANKY when they wake up. My babies have NEVER before been cranky when they wake up. As a staunch Weissbluthian, I know that the only reason a baby is cranky when they wake up is because they did not get enough sleep. And yes, I would let them sleep longer but THEY wake up because its time to eat and they are hungry. So they won't nap longer to make up for it.
Maybe its because they have had little colds? Maybe the runny noses have thrown them off? UGH.
I can hear you chuckling from here because, yes, its cute. However, come over here at 4pm and tell me how cute things are then. I dare you.
Oh wait...its quiet. All i had to do was finally blog about it?
I PRAY that this was all just temporary.

What IS it with people??

An excerpt from a recent conversation with someone just meeting the babies...

Them: They're so cute! How old are they?

Us: Thanks! They're about 7 & 1/2 months.

Them: Wow...How are they sleeping?

(BTW, I have discovered that this is a VERY popular question among many, MANY others...)

Us: Great!

Them: Are they sleeping through the night?

Us: Yes!

Them: Really? How many hours?

Us: Twelve hours.

Them: Really??? No they don't! Really?

Us: Yes, they sure do!

Them: Well, you got really lucky...

Us: Actually, we worked really hard and it took some time. It didn't just happen overnight.

Them: Well...It won't last.

Us: *uncomfortable smiles...steam coming out of my ears...thinking, "WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT???"*

Conversations like this are valuable as they tell me a lot about the other person and how they look at the world. How they're programmed to think. Pessimistic, negative, comparing, jealous even?

But, seriously? WHY do they have to crap on our party? What is it about parenting that brings out the worst in some people (myself not excluded)?

One would think that people would be more supportive. ONE WOULD THINK.

The Evolution of The Schedule

The Evolution of The Schedule

This week, the babies slept TWELVE HOURS for the first time. This was a HUGE deal for us as we have come a long way to get here. This was NOT easy.

When they first came home, I dreamed of uninterrupted sleep. I was getting short 45 minute naps in between feeding and pumping and I was delirious. Feeding has become SO MUCH EASIER now. Hardly a comparison!

When they came home - 3 hours round the clock:
We fed them every 3 hours – every feeding was the same around the clock.
3am, 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, 12am
Feed (feeding took over an hour), hold upright b/c of the reflux, put down to sleep - SCREAMING
Pump, try and sleep for about 45 minutes to an hour.
Get up and make bottles, medicine, etc…do it again. This schedule was so important, not just for feeding but for administering their medications.
This was tough because although everyone came home on a rough 3 hour schedule from NICU, everyone was on a different 3 hour schedule…Someone was awake at ALL HOURS. I had to get them synchronized.
I didn’t share how miserable I was because I couldn’t go there. I would start crying and lose it and I was already doing enough of that, trust me.
Remember - Brian had a new job and had NO TIME OFF - He only took the one day off when I told him I was going to lose my mind. I believe I talked about it at least once before. Eeek, I try and forget it, trust me. I was mostly alone with the babies all day long, except for Wednesdays I had my sister, and for a while my Mom was with me all day long on Thursdays. Thank GOD. Brian was 'on duty' the minute he came home until after the midnight feeding. Anyhow...that's a whole 'nother post.

Back to it, somewhere in here we created ‘night time’, which meant for the 9pm, 12am, 3am, and 6am feeds there was no waketime. We basically kicked people out to eliminate the stimulation (eventually eliminating most of the help altogether because it was counter-productive). It was right back to bed for the babies. YEAH RIGHT, the babies laughed at us. MWA HA HA!


Four Hour Nights:
At about four months – about the time of the move - we moved to four hour nights and shifted the waketime up.
8am ‘waketime’, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm ‘bedtime’, and then not until 12am, 4am...
We had the same eat, wake/play, nap order - except for 8pm, 12am & 4am (nighttime feeds) – feed and right back to bed with no wake time.
Wake time during the day was about 1 hour to 1 hour and 20 minutes, depending on the baby – Alexis tolerated much less wake time than the boys. AT MOST she could be awake for an hour. This shortened waketime was key to creating good daytime naps and longer periods of sleep.

This was much better. I’d get a couple hour stretches at night. I had read Weissbluth and learned A LOT about sleep and what a baby needs. I was getting about 5-6 hours total a night. Better...but still exhausted.

Dropping The 'Middle of The Night (4am) Feeding:
8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm,8pm,12am…and then whenever they woke up hungry (4:30am, 5am, 5:30am, 6am, etc.) wake everyone up to eat and right back to bed. These feedings were really rough on me. By myself and deliriously tired like at the beginning. Remember?
Naps were going well though. Alexis became a super sleeper since I found her secret with the shorter periods of waketime. I was still trying to get Jackson, my most nap-resistant baby - to nap, or at least be quiet and rest, during nap times. He would ANGRILY protest. I would NOT get him from the crib before a certain amount of time. I got flack and heard things like, "maybe he doesn't want to take a nap. Some babies don't need to nap." I disagreed very strongly. I believe naps are not optional. I believe they are a matter of health for the baby. I was called a 'hard-ass". SO be it!

This was almost harder than the previous schedule because after 4am it was up in the air as far as when and who would wake up. When someone would wake up, I’d have to wake all of them up to feed and go back to sleep but it screwed with their daytime naps and I got less sleep in the night time, for some reason. Ugh.

Pushing Back The Late Night (Midnight)Feed:
8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm, 12am...which we gradually pushed back to 11:30, 11, 10:30…
The fog really started to clear here.
Once they went 9 hours at night, we went to four hour days and shifted the waketime/bedtime up to the ‘final’ times:

7am Wake With Firmly Established Bedtime Routine:
7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm ‘bedtime'...late night feeding pushed back from 10:30pm to 10pm to 9:30pm to 9pm…

We introduce solids at this time.

By this time, naps have finally become pretty wonderful. There are those days, but for the most part they’re great. And my consistency has paid off with Jackson. He LOVES to nap and goes down without a peep 9 times out of 10. They have each learned how to put themselves to sleep - in their crib - each with their own ‘thing’ they do (blanket nuzzling, finger sucking, etc.). Its adorable to watch.

Dropping The Late Night Feeding:
Here we are now. 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm.
This week – July 6, was the first day we did NOT wake them up at 9:00 for the ‘late night’ feeding. We let them sleep. We did baths and bedtime bottles at regular time and they were in bed by 7pm as usual. But then we waited for them to wake up. I expected them to wake up in the middle of the night but they slept until 7am – TWELVE HOURS! Just in time for their seven month birthday!
I am SHOCKED. I REALLY expected them to wake up – No ONE has woken up (yet). They were definitely ready!

Yes, I could have gotten them to get to this point much more quickly, given the fact I was doing ‘sleep training’, but I was doing it as gently as possible, reading their cues, while still trying to push them and get them to go longer stretches as time passed. This was not easy, I have been very committed. I wanted to create a firm foundation of SLEEP in their first six months. But it was hard. Consistency - no matter what time of day/night or how tired I have been – consistency has been KEY.

Consistent wake time.
Consistent naps.
Consistent bedtime routine.

99% of the time...
They are very happy in the morning.
They don't fuss when they go down for naps and they SLEEP.
They love bedtime.

If you say that I’m ‘lucky’, you have NO IDEA how much work this was for me. If I've made it seem easy, believe me...it has been anything but easy. But well worth it. I worked very hard to get to this place.

For me, this place looks like this:

7 – 7:30am wake
Bottles
Solids (oatmeal & fruit)
Play!
@ 9am naptime

11-11:30 wake
Bottles
Solids
Play!
@ 1- 1:30 naptime

3 – 3:30pm wake
Bottles
Solids
Play!
5:15-5:30-5:45-ish – MAYBE a nap (this nap is slowly disappearing)
Daddy comes home
6:20pm – like clocks, this is when they start melting if we don’t get going on the bedtime routine:
Baths, lotion, pajamas, bottles, lights turned down, sleep-time music (usually rockabye baby CD – Metallica or Beatles), snuggle with Mommy & Daddy on feeding couch.
As they show signs that they are ‘ready’, I take babies to bed, one at a time, as Brian snuggles the remaining baby(ies).
Door closed by 7:15pm – FOR THE NIGHT. See you in the morning!

I do check on them before I go to bed. I have to see their faces because I miss them.

They used to CRY/scream every time I put them down. EVERY TIME.
EVERY SINGLE TIME.
EVERY SINGLE STINKING TIME.
Am I being redundant? Yes, but I want you to understand they didn’t come from the factory this way, good little sleepers. We TAUGHT them how to go to sleep.

I am very adamant about bedtime stimulation (decreasing/limiting it) and having a bedtime routine. We use quiet voices. I don’t have them out in the living room with the TV blaring right before bedtime and them plop them into bed and close the door. They would SCREAM bloody murder if I did that! Trust me, I HAVE and they DID! Lights are low, music is playing, both Brian and I are there with lots of snuggles. I would dare to say I think they LIKE bedtime now. Thy smile when we put them down. What a change from a few months ago.

Like I’ve said, we have worked very hard to get here. It was very important to me that they learned to put themselves to sleep and could self-soothe themselves back to sleep if they woke mid sleep cycle. This, for the most part has finally happened.
I love this routine. The babies love it.

Bedtime became almost easy once we established the bedtime routine:
I bathe each baby, Brian lotions/diapers/pajamas as I bathe the next one. We do it assembly line style. He gets the bottles ready as I am finishing up the last one. Its the same almost every day, unless we're out at that time of day, which is rare.
Yes, there are exceptions. We DO live our life. Like when there are people over during bedtime, someone will cry when we put them down. They KNOW there is fun to be had elsewhere in the house! But, usually they crying ends pretty quickly since they are pretty tired at that time of day.

I did not do all of this because I am control freak, although I AM a control freak. :)
I created this because I very firmly believe that sleep is a absolute non-negotiable and that it is as important as food for little babies to grow healthily. I was especially concerned since I had preemies and since Alexis was so small from the get-go. This belief was reinforced after reading Weissbluth and getting a better understanding of the importance of protecting a child’s sleep.

And, yes, we DO shake things up every week. They have stayed over at my parents house overnight every Friday night since they were five months old. They sleep pretty well there too!

I could go on and on but I have to go to bed. HA! I need to sleep train myself!

I've got so much more to talk about on the topics of sleep and scheduling. A series of more specific posts about sleep training and scheduling is in the works!

ready to move and sleep

I can't wait until this move is over. I can't tell you how much I fantasize about getting my home back to some kind of order. Having things organized and put away and not in piles or boxes sounds wonderful. Things are moving along though and its just a matter of a week. The moving day WAS Saturday the 29th - all of our help was lined up & childcare for the babies squared away for the entire day - until YESTERDAY when we were told we can't move in until Sunday the 30th. UM...ok then. We had everyhing planned and all of our help scheduled. Moving on a Sunday isn't ideal for us given everyone's church schedules and such but we will make adjustments.
The move-in seems to get pushed later and later. I am trying not to be frustrated. "GO WITH THE FLOW" is my mantra these days. I am trying to actually go with the flow. Hard though. I just want everything in order. Things being out of order gives me a nervous twitch. Ok, not REALLY. But it makes me anxious. And all I need right now is anxiety, right? Not so much.
Anyway, there are many positive things about this move that I need to be focused on. Like the fact that we will have lots more room and that we will have fresh paint and carpet. I LOVE the smell of fresh paint and carpet.

And since I am not busy enough, we have changed the babies schedule to adjust with the new four hour schedule we're moving to at night. We are still feeding every three hours during the day. We've adjusted their bedtime feeding to 8pm and will eventually adjust it to 7:30pm so their bedtime will be 8pm, once the pediatrician allows me to go longer than four hours at night. I can't tell you how I look forward to getting more than 1&1/2 to 2 hours of sleep at a time. As it is now, I get about 4-5 hours of sleep a day - in 1-2 hour increments. I cannot imagine the heavenly feeling of sleeping more than that every night. This new four hour nights thing will allow me a little more sleep which will be wonderful. Now its just a matter of getting them adjusted. This will be the third day and they have done pretty well.
Overall, since we've been firm about their schedules they have been much happier , nap better, eat better and sleep much more. Its amazing, actually. "SLEEP BEGETS SLEEP." I cannot tell you how firmly I believe this now. Since reading several posts on sleep that Jen wrote, I was inspired to buy this book by Dr. Weissbluth and so much of it has clicked with me. I realized that I was putting them to bed way overstimulated and they were exhasuted but not sleeping as well. I also realized that they were not sleeping enough. What a difference this has made. I can see the difference in their waking moods and their overall behavior. I can really see the difference on days that I am not being as mindful of their sleeptime stimulation and keeping bedtime QUIET and sticking to the routine. Its as if they are cranky and miserable and they ACT like they don't want to go to sleep. Everyone, including me, is miserable. But when I stick to the rules, its beautiful. This is all very important to me because, honestly, I have always have been a horrible sleeper. Just like the babies were, I have always gone to bed overstimulated and exhausted and could not fall asleep/stay asleep. And then once I finally fell asleep I was miserable when I woke up - no matter how many hours of sleep I got. I knew this wasn't right. Sleep training them has helped me understand my own sleep problems. Its a win-win!
Don't get me wrong, I have not been very good with the whole sleep thing lately with the move and change in schedule. They are fussing in their crib RIGHT NOW as I type this - when they should be napping. Two steps forward, one step back. But I know now that I can get back to it once we've adjusted to the new schedule and things are back in order. I look forward to getting back into the solid routine with the firm bedtime. Its just a matter of me staying disciplined with the routine and the schedule. I'll let you know how it goes as we continue to 'train' the babies - and myself!
And, BTW - I know that sleep is a controversial issue so please be gentle with your commenting/e-mailing.
I've got lots to pack so gotta go!

Much Love,
Cindy