Monday, November 24, 2008

A post about posting

A post about posting

I've been trying to post more often. No, really. Its not that I don't have lots to say. I've got a plethora of posts written in my head. But, then I just get too tired to say any of it. I end up piddling around on Facebook and WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THAT IS. I would be afraid of Brian getting annoyed, except for the fact that HE is an even BIGGER Facebook junkie than I am, so what can he really say?

Thing is, I feel better when I blog more often. Posting seems to have a really therapeutic affect. This was especially true in the early days when I somehow found a way to post while attached to baby number four (my breastpump) every three hours. It was my only way of feeling like I was more than a deliriously tired and emotionally unstable feeding machine. When I do actually write a post, I feel weight lifted off of my chest and my head is a little clearer. Something about talking to babies all day doesn't provide that same release that I once got when I worked outside of the house with other adults. The babies and I don't exactly have what I would call reciprocal conversations. Not that I don't enjoy it. I LOVE IT. I am exhausted, but happy.

And leaving the house, while nice, can be more stressful than staying home because I am a freakshow. Explaining how I got pregnant and that YES, they are triplets and NO, they are not natural (They're actually made of BPA-free plastic), and YES, they're all mine and YES, we "Did" fertility and YES, that is so cool how your friend/aunt/niece/co-worker has twins and YES, I do watch Jon and Kate Plus Eight and YES, I have my hands full and YES, I am alone with them every day and NO, we don't get help from the government and NO, twins/triplets don't run in our family and YES, better me than you and YES, they do sleep at night and YES, they have different personalities and NO, they are not identical (that one always gets me) and NO, it doesn't "suck" thankyouverymuch and YES, they are all mine and YES, I am very blessed and happy, thanks for asking... *Sigh*
That is not the kind of adult conversation I crave.
I don't really want to talk to any stranger. I am not THAT desperate. Yet.

I just miss chit chat and going to lunch with my girlfriends and walking the aisles of a store ALONE and without a big sign over my head that reads:

"COME TALK TO ME AND BLOCK THE AISLE SO I CAN'T GET PAST YOU WITH MY BEHEMOTH STROLLER AND MAKE SURE TO ASK ME LOTS OF PERSONAL QUESTIONS THAT, YOU, YOURSELF WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE ANSWERING AND MAKE SURE TO REACH DOWN AND TRY TO TOUCH MY BABIES' FACES TOO BECAUSE I LOVE WHEN STRANGERS TOUCH MY CHILDREN'S FACES."

See...I already feel better.
Steering back to the topic...I know I need to post more often - for my mental health - and I need to find a way to just do it. Just like the way I feel better when I exercise, go to bed early, have all the laundry folded, sweep all the cheerios off the floor, eat healthy...I need to just do it. Agh.

This week I an doing a lot of reflecting and sighing and a little crying. Because my babies are seriously almost a year old. Actually, that's not the reason for the tears. I guess its the fact that it was a year ago that I really got into the absolute worst part of the pregnancy and I am reminded of that as Thanksgiving approaches. I have a picture that has inspired me to post about that. I'll probably do that after Thanksgiving.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, we're having a small family Thanksgiving at our house. And up until this past weekend, I was planning on cooking the turkey and some sides. And then the reality of what my life currently looks like hit me squarely across the face. As if to say, "HELLO!!!! Are you insane? You are trying to do too much with three very demanding and active infants. Scale back, sister!"

And so I made the executive decision to order a pre-cooked turkey this year. And then I exhaled. PHEW!
I am still making a couple of sides. I CANNOT do Thanksgiving dinner without green bean casserole. My version is my favorite, so I decided I just had to make it. The first Thanksgiving with babies should be interesting. I plan on giving them their first taste of turkey on that day. I can't wait to see how they react to it!

The dryer is done, so I gotta go do laundry, but check out a little collage thingy that Brian made. These are three of my favorite sets of eyeballs in the world!


Guess who?!?