31w3d

I am so tired today! I was up so late and was unable get comforable. Its interesting that how well I am doing seems to be connected to which nurse I have. Last night, I had Miserable Nurse. I've had her several times before and each time I try and engage with her and smile a lot and she is just a brick wall...An abrupt, harsh, annoyed-with-life brick wall. Inevitably, If I have her as my night nurse, I end up crying (secretly, of course). Its just that it is currently taking 100% of my mental/emotional strength to get through each day and stay pregnant and manage the contractions, etc. Being with someone like her drains that energy and I crumble a bit. I said a prayer for her and was filled with compassion for her because I know the reason most people are crappy like that is that they're unhappy people. I also prayed that God would give me the strength to cope with her without losing my mind! I plan to talk to Lantry today about my nurse assignments. I need to make sure that I can avoid having her in the future if I can help it.

Last night. I started having dull pain with my contractions - like menstrual cramps - that would not go away, even with side lying (which is usually what works to get my contractions to go away). I had to go into the fetal position to deal with the discomfort, so I knew it was time for the terbutaline. I was so afraid that I would go into labor in the middle of the night and that Miserable Nurse would end up being my nurse for my delivery! Thankfully (and shakefully) the terb stopped my contractions but then I was unable to sleep - the babies were going nuts, jumping around like crazy! At almost 3 am, after dozing in and out of sleep and being unable to stay asleep, I asked for the Ambien. I only got about 5 hours sleep - definitely going to nap today- but I was finally able to sleep through the shaking.

Lantry has not come in yet today but I suspect it will be a quick visit because we're just waiting for DeVore to come tomorrow. I hope he finds that everything is OK with the babies and that we've got more time to cook them. I am absolutely physically miserable, but am willing to continue because I love these babies so much and I want them to be healthy.
I am getting so antsy and craving a change of scenery. I HAVE NOT LEFT THIS ROOM. I want to escape. I watch cars drive by and I want to be in one of them. I am seriously going nuts! But I know that this is where I need to be so I just daydream that I am taking a walk or just sitting outside.
I just ate part of my lunch and could not eat the rest. If I never have salisbury steak again, I'll be happy! I better lay down b/c I am contracting and its time to monitor soon.

I'll try and update more soon!