Wednesday, October 31, 2007

denied - 25w5d

It has been confirmed. Denied. No DeVore. In fact, Physicians Associates will not approve any further appointments with the high-risk doctor because nothing has been wrong enough with the babies thus far and they will not approve until there is something wrong with me or the babies. Not high risk enough according to the people sitting at their desks and stamping denials, without regard to what my doctors are saying which is that it is very important that I have this care right now and that the babies and I need to be closely monitored by a perinatologist, especially now. But for some reason, these people don't care. They are going to save some money on me. If I were one of their wives or daughters would they choose the the same? If a woman carrying triplets is NOT high risk enough to see the perinatologist, then who is? Because of this we are scrambling to re-arrange my care and not let it fall through the cracks. Even though my OB (Lantry) saw me last week and is seeing me next week (on my birthday 11/7) she told me to come in this Friday. I mean, SOMEBODY has to measure my cervix this week, right? DeVore was doing this but now all of it goes to Lantry, which don't get me wrong...I love her. But her machines are not as advanced. It is very difficult to do the measurements on THREE cramped babies and the blood flow measurements of my uterus with the crappy machines. How is all of this in the best interest of my babies? I don't know what is going to happen now. DeVore was the one 'in-charge' of things - Lantry has always deferred/submitted to him. He was the one that decided when I was going to the hospital and although he is known for being more cautious and opting to hospitalize earlier than maybe others, he has an expcellent reputation and I appreciate his competence. I felt very confident in the quality of my care with the one-two punch of him and Lantry. Unfortunately, I could only continue going to him if he were my only doctor for the pregnancy. But he doesn't deliver babies, so that was not an option. Bla Bla Bla...stop complaining. I have to move on. I need to look ahead to my appointment on friday with Lantry. Its just so hard to swallow the strong feeling I have that my care is being somewhat compromised and I have no real control over this. I could fight harder, but this would not serve my health and the babies' well-being right now. I need to keep the stress-level low. Also, it would take so the time I got any resolution, I would be having these babies. And how much energy would I have spent fighting? I am just not sure of my next step. I will definitely talk with my OB on Friday and see what her thoughts are. She, too is very frustrated with what is happening. Both DeVore's office and Lantry's office have faught for me and have much disdain for Physicians Associates and both wish I didn't have to be with them. Word of advice to anyone out there that is or hopes to become pregnant. Don't go with that group if you can help it. Unfortunately, with my specific needs, my pool of choices was narrow with my insurance company (Health Net) and if I could have stayed with my old provider group (La Vida) I would NEVER have changed to Physicians Associates. Bla Bla Bla...OK, I'm done. I need to deal with myself. I need to stop. Snap ot of it. Be positive. Shake it off! SMILE.

Pregnancywise, not much new except some intermittent twitching in my left hand, primarily in my thumb. It just starts to shake, like tremors. No rhyme or reason that I can think of. Just more blood flow issues, I am sure. I'll find out on Friday.
Also, I have noticed that I am having more contractions than before. No pain but I do have to just pause sometimes. Like they take my breath away a bit. Hmm.
I am still always hot. This has been pretty consistent throughout the pregnancy. I don't sleep with blankets AT ALL. I am just too warm. Maybe I'll never get to wear the cute maternity sweaters that my mom bought me and the few the long sleeved shirts I have?
And I have just started getting itchy all over my body. I hope that this goes away NOW!
I haven't been able to breathe out of my left nostril since early September. no kidding.
The babies are still very active which is such a comfort to me. Its amazing how reassuring it can be to feel your babies kick you from the inside and be able to distinguish who is who. It is so much fun!

Also, I got a couple of visits from friends yesterday. One brought me baby toys etc. and starbucks (decaf, of course) and later another friend brough me lunch. :) It was so nice to have quick visits from friends that I haven't seen in a while. And what a treat to get Starbucks, YUM!!! And a lunch that is not the same old stuff I have here (PB & J etc...). Thanks! :)
Its so funny how tired I am now. After they each left, I needed to nap. In fact, I had conked out and was napping after breakfast and totally slept until the first friend showed up to my door. I was so KNOCKED OUT that she had to call my phone to have me come to the door! OOPS! That happens more and more now. Just when I think I am going to lay down for JUST a minute...I'm OUT for at least an hour. And I mean OUT COLD. I cant shake the tiredness and I know this will stay with me until the end of the pregnancy.
Speaking of which, I need to go lay down...More updates to come! :)

Love to all and thanks for reading/'listening' even when its just me venting my frustrations. Keep praying! :)