Thursday, August 5, 2010

All By Myself

All By Myself

It's been a busier than usual week since Brian has been out of town in Anchorage, Alaska for a trade show with his company. Which means I have been alone with the triplets and LORDY am I tired. He is coming in on the redeye tonight which means he will be back in town very early in the morning. Which also means he will not have slept and will need to go right to sleep when he gets home. Which also means another day alone with the kids. And OF COURSE, I totally understand. I've already got the day planned tomorrow so I will survive one more day!

I actually feel bad for HIM since he spent most of the week in Alaska but was not able to do any fishing and I know that was killing him! But work is work so fishing in Alaska will have to be somewhere in the future for him. WAY WAY in the future, unfortunately.

Otherwise we have been keeping busy with our awful schedules. We are still doing the "he works days and I work nights" thing. It's hard. Very very hard. It's hard on us physically and emotionally and it's hard on our marriage. But it's what we have to do right now to keep it going. The stress level is very similar to the first few months of the babies' lives. Except we don't have the help we did back then so it's a LOT of work. I admit there are days that i am ready to burst at the seams and I lose my patience regularly. Stress brings out the worst and I have to work hard to manage myself. There are days that just the thought of going to work all night after working a whole day with the kids makes me want to cry. And sometimes I do cry.
I miss freetime and hanging out with friends and not always being in a rush. I know this is temporary. I know it I know it I know it. But I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I REALLY WANT TO SEE IT. Sometimes I wish we had moved last year because the cost of living here is OUT OF CONTROL and what you get for the money is so not what we want for our kids. We live in a rental house with problems we can't afford to fix and our landlord won't fix without raising rent. EVERY SINGLE dime we make is allocated to living. So many of our friends have moved out of state for better quality of life for their families and I really wish we could do that righ now. But now is not the time. It is definitely in our future, however.

I need to get back to the steaming piles of laundry or else they will take over the house. Thanks for checking in! :)