Monday, January 25, 2010

Not Even Funny

Not Even Funny

I am indulging in this quiet moment to quickly update this poor forsaken blog. The last few days have SUCKED. Sick babies, Emergency Room visit, more laundry than I could ever have imagined I would ever do...we are exhausted. Jackson has been very sick. I spent all day Sunday with Jackson at the ER while Brian stayed with the other two. I came home, handed Jackson off, showered and went to work. Unfortunately when I was at work, things took a turn for the worse. When I came home @ 11:30pm the house smelled like vomit and Alexis was puking her guts out. All over the wall, carpet, crib slats...EVERYWHERE. I think she puked 20 times throughout the night, I kid you not. I think I slept two hours - not in a row. I feel like I did when we had new babies at home. Completely sleep deprived and overwhelmed and stressed.
Jackson is showing signs of great improvement but Alexis is still pretty sick. My house has a heavenly scent of puke and I can't even keep up with all the baths and crib changes. And because all that hasn't been enough...Brian has it now too. So its just me and Zachary who haven't gotten sick and I am PRAYING that it stays that way. I would cry if I had the energy.

The washer and dryer have been going NON-STOP. Some things didn't even have a chance to cool off from the dryer before they were puked on again. If it were summer, I would just leave the sickies naked but its been so cold at night so I don't have the option.

To keep myself from losing it, I have made a list of things I am grateful for:

- We have a washer and dryer in the house. I don't know what I would've done throughout the night if I couldn't just wash everything here. I would surely have run out of clothes, towels, blankets.

-Zachary is still healthy

-We have enough food in the fridge. I don't need to go do a big trip, just milk and bananas.

-My Sister came over in the middle of the night to help with needy babies so we could clean puke off the walls, carpet, etc.

-My Mom came after work tonight and helped me with the Kabies and then proceded to fold 549 loads of laundry for me as I was getting the kids ready for bed.

-Brian stayed home today so I wouldn't be alone with sick babies (but then unfortunately ended up getting sick himself - that part is no fun).

-I don't have to be a work until Thursday.

-We are loved and prayed for by so many friends and family.

This is hard. I feel like things have been hard for some time now. I am trying very hard. I don't want to focus on how hard it is or how things could be. I just want to keep moving. But I am burning out and I just want to escape. I know that sounds terrible but its true.

Remember Evie from Out Of This World? Cheesy show but I LOVED it when I was a kid. I remember she had the ability to stop time by just touching her fingertips together.

THAT'S what I want. I just want to stop time and get caught up. Caught up with my sleep, chores, e-mails, my thoughts and my recorded TV shows.

I told myself that I would spend more time blogging in 2010. I really veered off in 2009 and I know that if I hadn't discovered facebook, I would probably still have been using the blog for the cathartic release that I once used it as. I really feel that my decline in journaling (published blog post or just private brain dump of my own) has really affected my stress level. As wonderful as things like television and social networking sites can be, they are time-wasters. I don't have extra time! I need to steal a bit from my facebook time and re-allocate it back to my blog. Hopefully you will be seeing more posts from me.
The dryer stopped so I gotta go do more laundry and wash some sippy cups. Please send prayers and positive thoughts for my family to get well quickly!