Of Unemployment And Poop
I've been a horribe, horrible blogger. Yes, its been while. Want excuses? Probably not. But here you are...
1. I haven't had my laptop since I spilled diet coke on the keyboard. This was a month ago. I haven't ordered a new keyboard yet. They cost money. I am on Brian's computer. I don't feel as inspired to blog on his computer for some reason. Something similar happened last year, remember? Facebook is much easier. Mindless. Which is why you're still seeing me on there.
2. I don't know what to type. I don't know what to say. Things are hard. Still no jobs. Actually, I think I am starting a part-time job but I don't know for sure yet. Anyhow, I am doing everything I can to keep my anxiety at bay but I am not doing a very good job. This is hard. It sucks. Whine.
We've been trying to keep busy with the babies and we've been enjoying the time together. We've done things. There are pictures. I'll get to those posts. maybe.
Everytime I sit down to write a post my brain fills up with all of my fears and worries. And then I don't want to type. I hate to sound so negative.
Yes, things could be worse. We have been here before and we will survive. We have each other. I am grateful for everything good in our lives. But not knowing how we're going to pay bills is so scary. I've talked to our landlord and without sharing too many details, we have a little longer to stay in this house than we originally thought. For the time being, he's letting us stay at a reduced rent and the biggest thing is that if we have to break our lease, he will NOT charge us the penalty...which would have added up to close to $14,000. Unfortunately, we will not be getting back any of our $2000 security deposit. Understandable.
And as you can see from the poll on the upper left of the blog, moving out of state is an option. Not that there are a million jobs anywhere else, but its an option. We eventually DO want to move out of California. We've been talking about it for years. But not now. Not yet.
Right after he was laid off, Brian went and visited some friends in a state to which we would eventually love to re-locate. If there was a job for him there we would move ASAP, and be VERY happy about it. If things don't pan out here pretty soon, we may go anyway. Its cheaper to live there, their unemployment rate is lower than California's, and the money we DO have will go further there. Its where we want to probably end up anyway. My parents plan to eventually follow. Its just not the timing we like. But, as we've learned before...God's timing doesn't always match ours. I am struggling to keep the faith and surrender my anxieties. I KNOW that God has a plan. I KNOW that all of our needs have always been provided somehow. But my GUTS are twisting and turning. I want to know. I WANT TO KNOW NOW.
And, by the way, if you want to see some of the people in your life get negative and crappy, tell them you're considering moving out of state. It makes the difficult decisions on our plate that much more difficult. The same thing happened when we announced I was pregnant with triplets. We were completely surprised by people's attitudes and reactions. But...I digress.
We are continuing to pound the pavement and are staying open to any and all possibilities. Please continue to pray for us.
To end on a brighter note, I'll leave you with some funny stuff!
Recently, the babies have been learning that its fun to take off all their clothes and their diapers. This has led to some messy good-mornings. Several days in a row, we would go into the babies' room in the morning to find Zachary completely naked. One morning, he was not only completely naked, BUT he also managed to take the hugest dump in his crib. And then play with it. With his hands. Did I mention he had the runs that day? Every single crib slat, the wall, his face, hands, blankets, the floor...EVERYTHING was covered in crap. THANK GOD Brian was there with me that morning. I nearly ralphed all over the place as I cleaned every surface and scrubbed everything within a five mile radius. He's not the only one. Alexis also pooped ALL OVER her crib one day. I have been at my wit's end. STOP POOPING EVERYWHERE.
And, YES, we've tried it all. Onesies, putting their pajamas on backwards, layers...Don't even suggest it because its already been done. In fact, we are now calling Zachary "Houdini" because he can get his diaper off under any circumstance. The day we tried using onesies, he somehow managed to remove his diaper without even unsnapping his onesie. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. It's like that scene in Flashdance where she removes her bra without taking off her shirt. Too graphic? Probably...but you get what I mean.
One day I walked into their room after nap and all three of them were naked, soaking wet from pee and jumping in their cribs. After taking ten deep breaths and a shot of whiskey I grabbed Zachary and began to shuttle him into the bathroom to hose him down. Just when we hit the hallway, my phone rang. I ran to the kitchen to get it. Mind you, this took one second. ONE FREAKING SECOND. I turn back around just in time to see a turd dropping from between his legs. I told him to stand still and used my phone to take a shot of it right then and there.
And, by the way, I was TOTALLY joking about the shot of whiskey. It was Tequila.
It was after that day that I had HAD ENOUGH. I got the duct tape out. I AM GOING TO WIN THIS.
The tools.
So far, the duct tape has worked. SO FAR.
I AM TIRED OF CLEANING POOP. I am in a constant state of "sweaty-ness." DRIPPING SWEAT. This has NOTHING to do with the whole poop thing, by the way. It has to do with the fact that there are THREE toddlers living in my house.
SWEATY!
These kids are SO much work but I love it. All joking aside, I love being with them. The thought of possibly leaving them all day long makes my chest hurt. It has been a real struggle to make it on one income thus far but it was so important to us to do whatever we could so that I could stay home with them for at least the first three years. I am SO grateful for this. And, much less importantly, the cost to put three babies in quality daycare is through the roof. Before Brian was laid off, I was starting to look into some preschools to put the babies in for a few hours a week. Now there is NO way we can afford that. Unfortunately we are at a breaking point and we have to do whatever we can to survive. So far that means both of us do whatever we can to make money. Possibly working opposite hours so we can avoid having to pay for child-care. It looks like I'm probably getting a job that I applied for but it is nowhere near enough money to even come close to making it. We're still praying that Brian finds a job making close to what he was making before.
Oops, I said I was ending on a brighter note. Here...I'll inundate you with random cameraphone cuteness!
Somebody likes to find new uses for the table.
Our baby circus at the grocery store.
My sister pulling the babies on a walk through Montrose.
Alexis LOVES plain tart frozen yogurt.
My handsome boy. Looks like a Mini-Brian.
Princess was HOLY TERROR after spending 24 hours at Halmonee's & Grand-Daddy's house. TANTRUM.
Thanks for your support. By the way, leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts. About moving. About jobs. About duct tape. About poop. Whatever. I am curious to see your thoughts on our situation.
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