Saturday, May 17, 2008

clarification

Hi everyone- Thanks for your support!
I just want to clarify something. I do not think that parents of singletons have it 'easier' or that they do not experience the kind stress that I experience. I never want to ever minimize anyone's experience. Ever.
I believe all mothers should come together to support each other - whether we have one, three, seventeen, a million kids - no matter how many children we have. I do NOT believe that parents of multiples 'own' the tough stuff.
Although I do believe there can be issues that are unique to parents of multiples-preemies (NICU hell, hospital bedrest, etc.), I think ALL parents alike may experience the isolation, loneliness, judgement, criticism, etc. that sometimes comes with parenthood.
I have never said, nor do I believe, that these issues are limited to parents of multiples and that parents of singletons are exempt. I hope I have never made any of you mothers of non-multiples feel this way.

I do feel that there are things that I experience that only other parents of multiples can relate to. Sure, I believe there are things that are more difficult for a parent of multiples. Lots of things. This is not rocket science. There are the health issues. There's the issue of having only two hands and three SCREAMING babies. There's the reality that going ANYWHERE outside of the house is a huge event. If something is tough with one child (like feeding or replacing pacifiers in the middle of the night, for example) it will likely be tougher and take longer with three or five or ten...you get the idea. I do think that a lot of what I have experienced so far has been more challenging because there IS more than one and might have been easier for me and Brian if there were only one. This is the kind of stuff that I do feel that only other parents of multiples TRULY understand. That's neither bad, nor good. It just IS.
This doesn't mean that I think anyone has is EASY because they had just one at a time. That is silly. And it doesn't matter because three is all I know. It is MY normal.
However, I was not referring to any of that in my previous post.
And I have to say that I do also believe that some things may also be easier for parents of multiples than for parents of singletons (e.g. keeping a single child entertained at all times may be more difficult than a group of children that can entertain each other).
Bla bla bla. The point is this.
My frustration was not about me being a parent of multiples but about me feeling 'over-exposed' (as Joy so adeptly put it) in my real life and the huge assumptions that people in my 'Real Life' make about my entire life, based only on the tiny glimpses they get on here.

And like I said before, I was not referring to the comments I receive on this blog, but the comments I receive 'In Real Life'. The comments I receive here have been nothing but positive and supportive. Thanks for your coments and e-mails!

Much Love,
Cindy