Getting better

I still can't breathe but I am feeling a little better than yesterday. I spent the entire day in bed and half of that time I slept. I slept hard and better than I have in a long time. My body was just done and exhausted. This cold is a good one! I've gone through 3 kleenex boxes so far. My poor little nose is red and dry. :(
Those of you who shared your very personal fears in e-mail and comments - thank you so much - I hate that you felt this way too but reading about them gave me so much validation. I don't feel so silly feeeling the unspeakable little (or not so little) fears. I an taking little steps everyday. Tonight, I put together the bouncer seat that I got at this weekend's shower. I admit I hesitated though. I didn't want to break the seal of the box! I had a quick awful visual of me having to take it apart and put it back into the box to return it. I quickly squashed that thought!!! Get out of my brain!
I also opened some of the plastic packaging of some clothes that have been sitting in the closet too. Oh my gosh, the clothes are so super cute. Especially the one or two preemie things I have. So tiny!
I had Brian put together ONE of the car seats (just one...baby steps). Its so surreal, having these things that our babies are going to use. There's a real commitment with opening the boxes and packages and taking the tags off of things. I know its supposed to be more fun but I have tiny little knots in my stomach. So I just do a little at a time.
The stuff is just so stinking cute!
My belly is getting bigger by the second. I feel like I am going to split open! And the stretch marks are really multiplying quickly. Brian and I were suprised by how many more there were in the afternoon than in the morning. Its happening so fast, its incredible. It feels like there are pins and needles in my skin and the itching is crazy! The only thing that helps the itching is Eucerin cream (the stuff in the tub). The stuff is amazing - the itching stops instantly when I spread it on. It has the texture of vegetable shortening - not so great - so I basically keep my belly exposed and slathered all day so I don't get it ony my clothes. Anything as long as the itching stops!
I have a quick OB appointment tomorrow. I don't know if I am getting an ultrasound at this appointment. This is the doctor's office with the crappy ultrasoud machine. This will be more of a chat since I am at 21.5 weeks and I am anxious with a lot of questions for the doctor. I hope she doesn't put me on full bedrest yet - I am praying! I'll let you know. :)