Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Are They Natural?

Are They Natural?

Just so you know…when you ask someone the “Are they natural?” question, what you’re really asking is if they had fertility problems and if they made their baby(ies) by having sex or not. And I don’t know about you, but my Mama taught me that it was rude to ask people very personal questions just because you really really really want to know the answer. My Mama would have actually smacked me in the mouth for being so nosy and obnoxious. Asking a perfect stranger about possible medical problems or about their sex life is actually very tacky. And yes, I judge you for doing so. Also, asking one of these questions in a crowd of people so that everyone stops what they’re doing so they can hear the answer is terribly inconsiderate.

Here’s the deal. If you know me well enough, you already know that I am a very open person. I share a lot. All the time. I have touched upon this subject at least once before. Sharing is the way I deal with stuff. I mean, HELLO, look at some of the stuff that I’ve shared on this blog (I know its been a while. Cut a sister some slack). That being said, if you don’t know the answer, then maybe it’s none of your business. You don’t get to know everybody’s business just because you’re curious.

What is with the way things are nowadays, anyway? Is it the tabloid culture? I am being very serious by the way. I really wonder when it stopped being rude to be so rude and nosy. Your sex life? None of my beeswax. Why you’re 35 and have no kids yet? None of my beeswax. But apparently I am the minority. It has become so common for people to thoughtlessly ask any question they want. And the part the gets me the most is that they seem to feel entitled to the answer. I am floored by the audacity of GROWN-UPS who seem to lack any sense of social boundaries. When did we stop learning the value of discretion? Isn’t this just a part of the etiquette that parents (should) teach their children at home?

Maybe I should start asking people with children if they had sex to make their kids or if they had to “do fertility”. Maybe next time I am around twins I’ll ask the mom IN FRONT OF HER KIDS if they did IVF. I’ll make sure there’s a crowd of people around while I am at it. Maybe the next time someone asks me if they’re natural I’ll say, “Do you mean to ask if I had fertility problems? Because, YES, I did actually, and it was a pretty painful process for us. Thanks for asking.”

But here’s the rub. I don’t get to be reactive and bitchy just because they’re being rude. “Tit for tat” isn’t the right thing to do. You don’t get to be rude to someone just because they were rude to you. You see, that’s another thing I have learned. Take the high road. Keep moving. That’s not to say that I don’t think its OK to be assertive. But there is a fine line between reacting with emotion and asserting my boundaries. I am still learning this. Ok, I’m done venting :)

And just for listening, I'll give you a recent cameraphone shot of the cuties.
2.6 seconds after this photo was taken, they put the rocks in their mouths. Toddlers.
And here are the boys during a recent trip to the grocery store. And, YES, I was that freakshow baby circus at the grocery store (Alexis not pictured b/c I was wearing her!). Does that explain the rant? :)