Friday, December 12, 2008

I could probably use a glass (or two) of wine

I could probably use a glass (or two) of wine

Duuuuuuuude. Today was a tough day for me. Wait, not really. Actually, things were OK until their first nap. Their first nap was abruptly jolted by somebody’s chubby thigh getting stuck in their crib slat. No problem. Just go in there and fix it and get right back out.
But that’s not how it works.
Because in reality, the chubby-legged-crib-slat-stuck baby shares a room with two other babies. These babies woke up as I was trying to quickly get the heck out of there. They saw me before I could close the door. SCREAMING ensues.

OHMYGOSH MOMMY I SEE YOU TRYING TO SNEAK OUT AND I TOTALLY DON’T APPRECIATE IT! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! DON’T YOU SEE MEE? DON’T YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING??? OH THE HUMANITY OF BEING SO NEGLECTED AND LEFT FOR DEAD IN THIS AWFUL CRIB AT NAPTIME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

First nap, shot. Three exhausted babies. One with really red and swolen chubby thigh.

OK. Alright. That’s OK. They’ll sleep really well during the second nap. Ahhh, I can’t wait. I am so looking forward to this second nap. I love second nap. Did I mention I am excited about all the napping that’s going to happen? Gee whiz, I am beside myself with anticipation. Oh the things I’ll get done during second nap! I’ll get things crossed off my list and then I’ll have time to sit down for a few minutes. SIGH….

Wait, why are they all pooping so much? And whiny. And fussy. Crap. HA HA. No pun inteneded. But, seriously what’s going on? Was it the cupcakes for their birthday? I’ve seriously changed about 6 POOPS already. Its only lunchtime. Hmmmmmm. Oh well. LOOK, ITS NAPTIME!

Shuttle one, two, three babies to bedroom. Change diapers again. Turn on fan to drown our neighbor noises. Close door. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Second nap is here.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A half hour passes.

WHAT is that NOISE? WHAT IS THAT?
Sounds like…a jackhammer? A construction site? A loud machine. Oh God Help me. PUH-LEASE let the babies sleep through this.
Ohmygosh it’s the neighbors with some machine thingy that is FEET from the babies bedroom window. Ohmygosh. Ohmygosh.

Breathe.

SCREAMING from the babies room.

SCREAMING from inside my head!!!!!!

Jackson is awake – screaming.
Zachary is awake – screaming.
Alexis is awake – screaming.

Go outside and ask neighbor in calmest voice possible, “WHAT IS THAT????????”
But she can’t hear me. Because the machine. THAT MACHINE. We end up INCHES away from each other, just to be able to hear each other speak.

They’re re-doing the inside of their house. They’re sanding the floors or something. They rented a machine. There’s more sanding tomorrow. Help me God.

GO back inside the house and listen to Jackson screaming for a LONG TIME. The other two are quiet and fell back asleep(?) Things finally get quiet…ten minutes before they usually get up. Contemplating waking them up anyway so as not to screw up bedtime. Decide to screw that idea.

They wake up CRANKY. Crying. Fussy. Clingy.

I get one, two, three babies out of their cribs and change their diapers. Whoever is not being held is SCREAMING.

Try to hold all three.

Call Brian. “I'm sorry. I know you're in the car but...Where are you? How close are you? I just want to have an idea of how soon reinforcements will arrive.”

I swear, someday he will just NOT COME HOME.

Brian arrives and I swear I don’t know who is happier to see him…them or me.

We go thought the nightly routine and put them to bed. PHEW!

Of course, within a couple of hours, I miss them.
*SIGH*